Be Mindful of "Harmless" Witticisms - Particularly Relative to Health

Oscars 2022..."Jada, I love you. GI Jane 2, can’t wait to see you," Chris Rock says in jest to Jada Pinkett Smith. Chris's "comedic" line referenced her shaved hair to Demi Moore's shaved hair in the 1997 movie GI Jane. The issue?

It was in 2018 that Jada announced her diagnosis and struggle with alopecia and has continued to speak publicly about her struggles with her condition. She shaved her hair in December 2021 and has sported the look since. At any rate, following said one-liner, Jada rolls her eyes at the quip, but her husband, Will Smith, brazenly approached the stage and struck the comedian in the mouth before returning to his seat from where he shouted to a visibly stunned Chris Rock to 'keep his wife's name out his f**'g mouth.' The incident immediately began trending in a major way!

Sometimes it's not "just a joke"

Amongst many comments, thoughts, and opinions. What brought me pause, were the many which called Chris Rock's jest "just a joke" or "a harmless joke." To be clear, I am not an advocate of violence, so for as much as I personally felt the joke was in ill taste, I do not agree with how Will Smith addressed the situation. And, unlike him, I feel that Chris Rock handled himself with integrity under the circumstances. Will's actions, in my opinion, were imprudent and rectitude should have propelled him to use his words to express his disdain in a private setting.

The experience behind closed doors

With that said, as one who lives with a chronic disease myself, and has loved ones very close to me who witness my challenges and low moments firsthand, I understand where his passion for defending his wife may derive. Because do we know what he knows? See what he sees behind closed doors with his wife?

I have multiple sclerosis. Two unfortunate examples of physical effects include, that I have are severely contracted fingers making it nearly impossible to manipulate, grasp, hold, etc. The other is, as a result of being sedentary, I have chronic bilateral foot edema (grossly swollen feet) so I wear stretchy, slip-on non-skid booties as opposed to actual shoes. Publicly, my challenges aren't worn on my sleeve, but behind closed doors is where I may show the frustration and raw transparency when the magnitude of my condition weighs most heavily - and it's my children who are behind these doors and see me.

The urge to defend

They see how hard an act as simple as reaching for and picking up the remote control to the television is for me. They see me wince in pain when my feet and ankles are so swollen the skin stings unmercifully. With that in mind, imagine how they might feel if we were at an event and hear "Let's give them a hand - ah, Dianne, feel free to just give a whistle" - a joke because I'm unable to clap. Or, "Everyone looks great tonight...Dianne, love the shoes." The comedian and others may see these quips as harmless jokes yet, my children are offended on my behalf because they know and see my personal battles with the woes of these symptoms and MS on a whole.

Being sensitive to people living with health conditions

Maybe I might be ok, but maybe not. Maybe I might not feel like being the brunt of jokes relative to the negative impacts of being stricken with my incurable, very serious disease being called out amongst a small group, on live television, or at all. And perhaps my loved ones who are cognizant of my sensitivity that I choose not to display publicly, feel the need to defend me from the sting of 'just' or 'harmless' jokes. I'd like to think they'd handle the situation much more humanely than Will Smith, but this explains where the passion to come to the defense of a loved one would come from.

Let's move away from certain jokes

My point is simply this: As opposed to focusing on Will already being on edge due to much jest of their marital issues or why he didn't expend the same energy on August Alsina during he and Jada's "entanglement," (another popular consensus), I think we should also - or better yet, instead - focus on why witticisms not centered on someone's health is important as it could go awry and/or cause additional strife to already adverse circumstances. I have a sense of humor, but we should remember that you never know what feelings may lie behind the effects of someone's plight.