Staying Connected in the Winter

Social connection is important in general, but it’s critical when you’re living with a chronic illness like multiple sclerosis.

It can be easy to isolate

It’s too easy and common for those of us living with MS to isolate ourselves. And it’s not always intentional or conscious. It can start with something as innocent as feeling self-conscious to attend a social gathering. Maybe it's because brain fog really prevents us from getting the words out in a conversation, or remembering significant events that our friends shared with us last time we spoke.

If it’s not brain fog, MS fatigue can easily stand in our way of RSVP-ing “yes” to a get-together. We simply don’t know if we have the energy to get ready, leave the house, and most of all tolerate the noise and bustling energy of a party. There are also mobility issues that simply make getting round a lot more complicated.

My point is that we certainly aren’t short on reasons to say in the comfort of our home any time of year, but especially in the winter. So how do we overcome this very real struggle, knowing that social connections are important to our mental, emotional, and even our physical health?

Overcoming the struggle

Start with mindset

I personally believe that overcoming this struggle starts with our mindset and our thoughts. I know it may sound a little out there, but improving my mindset is the foundation of all meaningful change for me.

Think about it: what typically happens when you receive an invitation to an event? You start to envision what that future event will look like, and you start painting the picture of how you anticipate it unfolding. If it hasn’t happened yet, it’s impossible for you to know exactly what will happen. And it’s easy to let fear, doubt, and even past experiences paint a negative picture.

But what if, we were to start considering the possibility that the event could go well, or at least better than it has in the past? Maybe you shift your expectations. For example, it’s easy for me to stress about outdoor gatherings in the summertime because I have a heat sensitivity thanks to MS. I start going down the rabbit hole of the heat affecting me and it taking so long to recover and it not even being worth the effort to go. I decide to air on “the safe side.”

And the reality is, I do need to be thoughtful and plan according to manage my health in an environment like that. However, I can also consider the possibility of how I could minimize my risk and even stay for a shorter period, but the benefit that I receive from seeing family and friends is worth it.

So, for me, it starts with mindset, finding creative ways to minimize the effort and risk, and recognizing the importance of prioritizing time with family and friends.

Find low-key activities

Now there will be times when the effort and risk for you to go out is too great, so you do need to stay home. As a homebody, I find great comfort and safety being in my home. We just need to tap into that creativity again to find ways to still stay connected.

This could include a virtual meetup. For example, my cousins and I have an annual dinner that I look forward to every year. Well one year I couldn’t attend. I had just gotten out of the hospital that day and despite me still wanting to go, I knew I needed to stay home. So, I ordered in a special dinner for myself and they Face-timed me after dinner. It wasn’t the same, or what my heart wanted; I wanted to be there in person to talk, laugh and hug, but I still felt included through our virtual connection.

You can also look for low-key activities like a movie marathon night that you could invite someone over to spend time with you. Or learn a new hobby with a friend like painting or crocheting that you make gifts to donate to charity.

These are just a few ideas to spark some inspiration to stay connected this winter. I’d like to hear from you, too. What do you find helpful to stay connected with family and friends despite the challenges of MS?