Why I Can’t Physically Take Naps Anymore
OK, time for a nap!” “No, no, no, but I’m not tired! I don’t want to take a nap!”
All I want to do is take a nap
Do you remember that? Being a kid and not wanting to take a nap when it was nap time? Or maybe you have kids now and still hear that all the time? Talk about envy! Having to take a nap at the same time every day? Good times… Now? Most of the time all I want to do is take a nap because my fatigue can be so crippling even on a good day! The problem is, even when I have the option to take a nap? Even when I want to? I just physically can’t… Many people with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) rely on naps to get them through the day and a lot of them say it helps. But not me, in fact, napping is almost always a regrettable activity for me…
I almost always feel even worse
You see, when I take a nap it totally screws me up; I don’t feel recharged afterwards, I almost always feel even worse! Sure it feels good to lie down and shut my eyes while I drift off into some bizarre dream but once I get back up? I feel so groggy and my fatigue is even more severe for the remainder of the day. Sometimes a few of my symptoms will even flare up a bit making it hard to see or causing me to feel extra dizzy. So most often, after a nap, I don’t want to move, I can’t think clearly and I don’t want to do any of the things I told myself I would do after a nap. There are even times my brain will forget that I took a nap causing me to wake up thinking it is the next day and that I need to make breakfast! But then I open my bedroom door to see that the house is full of light and everyone is getting ready to make dinner. Once I realize what is going on in the world around me and where time currently stands in reality, the only thing on my mind is regret. “Why oh why did I take a nap? Why did I think that this time would be different? Ugh… why?”
I try to push through the fatigue
But sometimes I just have to! Like, the other night I got absolutely no sleep and I woke up feeling like even more of a zombie than usual. My brain was in such a thick fog making completing basic tasks such as finding the bread in the kitchen seem impossible. “This drawer? Nope. This one? Nope? What about this one? There it is… now why am I looking at the bread again?” So most of the time I just try to push through the fatigue and just make it to the end of the day when I can just call it a night but on days like that I often give in. So I took a nap and as always, I woke up feeling even more tired. I don’t really know why this is now the case for me because I wasn’t always this way, in fact, I remember in high school that if I really wanted to nap for 4 hours I could and then I would wake up ready to take the bus to the mall and see a movie with friends.
I can only re-charge at night
I miss being able to take a nap without paying for it afterwards. Sometimes if I have an afternoon cup of coffee upon waking up from a nap it isn’t so bad… sometimes… but most of the time it does not help. I still feel groggy and hung over. So essentially, however much energy I wake up with in the morning is how much I have for the rest of the day. So when insomnia prevents me from sleeping it is often like the entire day (following that night of insomnia) is pretty much ruined and whatever I had planned just has to wait for the next day. Could you imagine if you could only charge your phone once a night? You charge it all night, start using it a bit, and then around 2:00 pm it just dies because for some reason it just can’t hold a charge anymore. Most people would simply plug it back in for an hour or two but for whatever reason, your crappy phone can’t charge until you can plug it in for the night. Why? I have no idea, that’s just how it works now.
Are you able to take a nap when your battery is running low? Do you find that it helps? Or are you like me and just unable to take a nap? Share below!
Were you misdiagnosed with something else before receiving a MS diagnosis?