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vanvlec72

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"I was diagnosed with MS in 2009. It saddens me that my family (mom & two sisters), still do not understand. I honestly believe they think I’m a hyperchondriac! I’ve given them information to read numerous times. I’m always told “someone has it worse than you.” I realize that but I wish they could understand how much stress they cause me on a daily basis. My dad, who passed away two years ago understood and never made me feel like I was “faking my symptoms.” I don’t want to be around them at holidays anymore. I’m so stressed and overstimulated, that I am mess for the next week 🙁
Does anyone else deal with this issue? "

  1. Hi . I so sorry about the loss of your father. I wish you had more compassion from family members and that they understood what you are going through. You are far from alone. MS can be an invisible illness and many people have a hard time comprehending symptoms they cannot see. It sounds like you have done your best to educate your family, but to no avail. Sometimes, you have to accept that you can't change the behaviors of others. You can only change how you react to them. Have you considered seeing a therapist to work through some of your feelings? People can change and your family might come around over time, but, for now, it is important to build another support network. Are there others you can spend holidays with -- maybe friends or more distant relatives who are supportive? Here is a wonderful article from one of our advocates about dealing with family members who just don't get it: https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/what-to-do-when-loved-ones-dont-understand. I hope it helps and that you can relieve yourself of that stress. You deserve to enjoy the holidays however you spend them. Wishing you the best. - Lori (Team Member)

  2. thank you for replying. Your kind words mean a lot to me. I will definitely read the article you sent me and pass it on to my family. I did spend Christmas with a very good friend and her family this year. I’m not sure what is worse, going to my families for Christmas and being overwhelmed and miserable or being told I’m a horrible person for not coming to the Christmas gathering. I am going to seek a counselor for advice because I find myself getting more depressed. We all know that STRESS is not a good thing when you have MS. Happy New Year to you and your family.

  3. I could not open the article you sent me. I copied and pasted the link to my browser and nothing showed up.

  4. Hi . Let me try again here. Sometimes, we have glitches with links. If it doesn't work this time, I will ask someone to fix it and I will private message you the content of article: https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/what-to-do-when-loved-ones-dont-understand. I am so glad you had a good Christmas and even happier that you plan to see a counselor. Depression is common for people with chronic illnesses and it should be treated just like any other symptom. I hope it will help to bring you some peace. Thank you for the warm wishes. I hope you have a wonderful New Year as well!- Lori