22 & VERY confused

Ok so I never knew about MS really I knew people who had it but never knew what it did to those suffering from it. I had started seeing my now incredible fiancé who has stood by me through all of this S**T excuse my language I’m a Northern Irish woman! Me & my partner Dan moved into our first flat together “big deal for him as he is from Lincolnshire” in my little town of Derry right in the nice part of town next to a beautiful chapel! We had been in our flat a week at the longest when my mood turned vile, I was horrible to him & not being the girl he fell in love with. He stood by me along with my amazing “yet sometimes annoying” family because he knew it wasn’t the real me. We had gotten to Christmas & adopted a beautiful kitten for ourselves as a way to support what both of us was going through.

When one night I woke up on the sofa in total my panic as I couldn’t feel my left side of my body. I went to the bathroom & as I walked out the door I fell flat into Dan “lucky he was there” he calmed me down texting my oldest sister Annie & my mother to come see my in the morning when they could. Annie arrived first and panicked when she saw me she tried everything to help me but at that point my legs, arms & hands were paralyzed! By the time my mum arrived 1 hour later my left eye had did a 180 turn in its socket & I couldn’t see. This scared my mum to her core.

They struggling got me to the car & took me to my parents house. Mum called the doctors & they told her I needed to go to Accident & Emergency so we waited until 6pm that night for my dad to return from his job which was 2 hours away from our home & the hospital! Once he was home him, my mum & my sister Nicola took me to A&E whilst dan stayed home with my sister Annie & our pets Doyle & my now deceased dog Scraps 🙁 whilst in the waiting room & has severe panic attacks as before this I was also too scared to go to the doctors. When a neurologist finally came to see me I was told I had functional movement disorder but because the paralysis in my right leg had disappeared I was told to walk to my car & go home. My parents were fuming as they knew deep down it was more than that!

I returned home & was stuck in my bedroom for the next week having to be fed by Dan & my dad, showered by my mother, I couldn’t even see my kitten. Luckily scraps stayed in bed with me. One Friday my mum & sister Annie lost it, phoned the doctors & demanded someone come to the house to see me. That’s when the amazing Dr Mc Laughlin from Oakleaf Medical came out & after a few quick tests sent me to hospital. Again it was back to A&E back to the same young female neurologist who said “I told you last week what it was” so again I was left sitting on the hospital bed & expected to get up & walk out again.

Dan was with me this time when he went & got a hospital porter & told him I couldn’t walk. The porter left the chair 10 steps away from me & told me “you can walk if you want the chair get up & get into it”. Dan saw red he was so angry at how I was being treated. I left the hospital at 4am in tears with my family & Dan telling them what had just happened to me. The anger over took my mother as she thought it was disgusting. She works as a cleaner part time in a solicitors office, one day her boss found her crying in her supply closet, worrying about me, she said geraldine WTF!!! We will sort something out don’t you worry.

The next thing I know my phone rings it was a private doctor in Dungiven who took one at me when he saw me & got me a bed in Altnegalvin hospital. He then told my mum & the girls from her work no charge & to take me straight away. That’s when I met my consultant Dr McCarron “my hero” who kept me in for a month running MRIs & various other tests when on my 3rd week of my stay he told me that he thinks I have RRMS phase 1. After spending 1 hour with me in my room extra explaining everything to me. He told me of a miracle drug called Tysabri & that he was going to fight tooth & nails with his colleagues in Belfast City hospital & the Royal Hospital also in Belfast. After week 4 he came into my room & started helping me pack & find what medicine I would deffs need for going home, then along with my mum & Dan helped me to the car. I had finally been diagnosed I was thrilled.

Once I got home to Scraps & Doyle I felt a lot safer & in control. After being home a month & meeting my MS nurses Fiona & Carole I took a second relapse which no one was expecting. It lasted 2 weeks with not as severe symptoms. I was given a steroid tablet treatment & returned to my normal self. That lasted for 4 weeks until I had pushed everyone around me away I made Dan move back to Lincolnshire to deal with his Bipolar disorder which he was too scared to tell me about 🙁 he needed his family just as I needed mine! We stayed in contact until one day he hadn’t heard from me. He was expecting to not hear from me until 3pm as I had an early hospital appointment for the Royal in Belfast to meet my now consultant Dr McCloskey who kept me in the Belfast hospital for 2 weeks 2 hours away from my home. I was scared & the panic set in but then my registrar Dr, Gavin McCloskey (yeah same name as the consultant very head f**king lol) told me I would be going home & getting my first & all Tysabri treatments in Altnegalvin starting on my dads birthday. I was so happy. I was finally diagnosed & on treatment! 3 months down the line me & Dan are in the middle of getting OUR house organized to move into next January “hopefully”.

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