My 24-Year Journey with MS

Twenty-four years ago this month, I woke up to a brand-new reality. MS gripped me like a pit bull shaking a ragdoll, and it felt like it shook the stuffing right out of me.

In some ways, it feels like lifetimes ago, and in others, it feels like just yesterday. But whether it seems distant or recent, MS has marked my life in ways that are hard to reconcile with the identity I had for my first 40 years.

Surviving over the years with MS

Looking back, I see clear lines. My first 40 years without knowing I had MS. The next seven, living with the certainty of the diagnosis. And the last 17 years, on an effective therapy that has stabilized, if not subdued, this disease.

Once I regained some functionality, I put my head down and worked, driven by the fear of leaving my family in financial straits if the disease took over again. That focus gave me the resolve to slog through the fog and mud of MS every weekday, always looking toward the weekend, where I’d finally unplug and collapse for a day or two.

While this kept me moving forward, it also distanced me from my family. All my energy was poured into survival, leaving little for my wife Liz and our two youngest daughters. Liz has been my rock, and my daughters grew up and flourished—but they did it largely without me.

Embracing a new beginning

I’m ready to draw a new line in my life. A line that marks the start of being truly present for my family. My four daughters are grown now, but I have 11 grandchildren ranging from 3 to 24 years old, and I want to enjoy them and hopefully be a positive influence in their lives.

The challenge now is figuring out how to do that. How do I set aside the coping mechanisms that have kept me moving for the past 24 years and shift to a new way of living?

That brings me to my "year 24 wisdom": Just because something works doesn’t mean it’s the right path forward. I wish someone had told me that even though I thought my life might be cut short, I should’ve planned beyond what I could see or expect—focused on what truly mattered in the end.

By year 25, I hope I’ll have succeeded in shifting the paradigm of my life.

Here’s hoping that you get a 24 (or 5, or 10, or 20) year jump on me as you weigh the value of being truly present in your life.