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Alone in the Dark

As I type that tittle tears come to my eyes. I was dx back in 2006. I’d experienced minor symptoms for years, but with only 15 mins in the Dr’s office it’s hard to explain all of the tiny things that can make up MS.

When it hit, she came with a vengeance stripped me of my cognitive skills, forced me onto disability after a solid year of no income. I had to take in borders to try and survive. All that while the pain was so intense there were times crawling was far more than I could ever take. I was all alone. My mother on the other side of town unable to drive. My oldest daughter in another state for college. My youngest…. was a teenager.

Present day. I’m all alone. I never sleep… until I do then I can’t wake up. Oldest daughter moved away. Youngest far to busy to come see me offer help. As for my mother lol she moved in with me and is in complete denial. She does not acknowledge the fact that I am ill. That I am tired, and weak. That I get confused if you try to tell me too many things at once, or ask questions I can’t wrap my mind around.

I’m alone. I want to get involved. I want to go to the gym that silver sneakers was offering for free. ( insurance) the insurance took it away lol of course. I day dream about getting up and doing laundry. When I do i’m so tired and in so much pain……

This is my life. This is no lifef.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Lisa Emrich moderator
    6 years ago

    I’m sorry to hear that your family is distant and not very supportive right now. It’s hard to understand a disease as mysterious as MS, whether you have the disease or a family member has the disease. I hope that you are able to ask for the help you need when you need it. It takes practice communicating what’s going on with us on the inside and outside. Don’t give up hope.

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