Becoming

We've heard it before. Something happens, a near-death experience, an illness, tragic accident, instant life changes, or loss of a loved one-that forces people to take a metamorphic journey. Without much conscious awareness, the natural life cycle begins to change you.

When my body turned on me

Medically, before my diagnosis, my body turned on me and began attacking itself. My symptoms were endless, many times debilitating and often requiring medical treatment. It took over 10 years to finally find the root cause. In order to be diagnosed with MS, I completed many assessments including blood tests, a spinal tap, and several MRIs. Finally, at age of 42, my test came back conclusive and speckled throughout my spine and brain, lesions had made themselves a home.

MS and butterflies

The picture of the MS brain resembles the shape of a butterfly. We all know the life cycle of a butterfly but ironically MS also has a way of isolating you into a cocoon, a chrysalis of sorts. Internally, there's a physical, emotional, and spiritual transformation eventually producing a rebirth, whether you like it or not!

I find great inspiration in the Monarch Butterfly, which is the official symbol of Multiple Sclerosis. Emotionally, I connect with its bright and bold orange color. My soul and womanhood align with its regal authority and powerful notoriety. We share black and white spots- mine via illness, the butterfly's via nature. But it is the stage of transition where I find the deepest connection.

Metamorphasis

I don't technically know who I'm becoming. There are periods of resilience and excitement. But I also have shifts in energy and sometimes there's depression and fear. What I do know is that I am being prepared for my repurposing.

I have hope for my future and for all of us battling this mostly invisible disease. May we emerge repurposed, rebranded, and repositioned, and have the courage to spread our wings and fly.