Children of a Parent with MS

My daughter was diagnosed back in 2010, shortly after the birth of her third child. Fast forward to today and she now has four children. I am so very worried about my grandchildren. They range in age from 1 to 14 years old. My daughter’s very short fuse is robbing her children of the the loving, nurturing upbringing every child deserves.

I need some suggestions on what we family members can do to not only mitigate the effects of her outbursts on the children but also on how to approach my daughter on the subject. She was told a long time ago that personality changes were the result of the lesions in the frontal cortex of her brain. I am afraid that she thinks there is nothing that can be done about it and that her irritability cannot be controlled.

My daughter has always been very stubborn and head strong. She does not respond well to constructive criticism. I have always said she marches to the beat of a different drum. Add in the emotional fire storms brought on by the MS and you have a recipe for disaster. She hates the fact that she has to take so much medication so I am sure that adding another pill will be met with much resistance. I have suggested she try marijuana but she is against that as well. She said she does not like the feeling of being “stoned”. When I tell her that there are varieties that do not have that side effect she still says no

I just do not know what to do. She is in this vicious cycle of getting so upset and stressed out that it makes her MS symptoms worse which in turn causes her more stress. She is also alienating the very people who are trying to help her. That would be her significant other and her aunt, who is a paid caregiver. She is on the verge of quitting.

This whole situation is breaking my heart. I work full-time and do not have the option of quitting my job or even going down to part-time. Part of my income goes towards paying her aunt to do the things that the state does not pay her to do such as carting the children around to all their activities and watching the toddler so my daughter can rest or get a break when her daughter is “getting on her nerves”.

I am sorry for being so long-winded. I love my daughter and my grandchildren unconditionally. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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