Concentration

MS has taken away everything I ever loved to do except the ability to sew. My mother started me sewing at about age eleven. Back when I was a teenager we had to take Home Economics in school. I aced the course on sewing with ease.

I became disabled in 2004 with Bipolar Disorder. I had not been diagnosed with MS yet and would not be until 2010. I do not remember why I was referred to a neurologist and started having MRI's but he just kept saying I had had multiple, multiple strokes. He put me on a blood thinner.

I was an avid reader all of my life but something was going terribly wrong. I belonged to three book clubs and started ordering books I had already read. Then I started having difficulty remembering what I had read. I would turn the page and not understand what I was reading. I ended up donating my library of approximately 3,000 books to the local library.

I had been reading approximately four books per week. I needed to find something to fill my time. I started sewing again. At first I began making tote bags in 2011. My husband thought that they were good enough to sell. He brought some to his work place and they did sell. My sister-in-law asked me to make her aunt a purse and so I did. I have to add that my MS has taken away my ability to understand directions. I cannot follow pattern instructions anymore. Whatever I make is either of my own design or I have to watch it over and over and over again and again and again on a You Tube video to learn how to do something.

I started making handbags as well as tote bags. In 2013 I started my own small sewing business called "Awesome Totes, Bags, Etc." I sell at craft shows and recently had a very bad experience. I just cannot seem to think of more than one thing at a time any more. By profession I was an Executive Assistant and could think about several things at a time.

I had a customer that I had a lot in common with. We even had the same name! I was so wrapped up in conversation I was not paying attention to anything else. I put her purchases, a handbag and a makeup bag in one of my cute brown paper bags with black paw prints on it and handed it to her. I so enjoyed our conversation I asked her if I could give her a hug. She said yes. I did and completely forgot about collecting the forty dollars for the cost of her purchases. She smiled and just walked away. I was keeping track of every item I sold. It wasn't until I wrote those items down that I realized I did not collect the money. I was putting down the amount and if it was cash or charge. As soon as I realized my mistake I actually got up and ran out in front of my booth and yelled her name. I got someone to watch my booth and went looking for her to no avail.

I have to realize that I can only do one thing at a time. I have come to the realization that I am compromised, I have to have a system and stick to it. I was taken advantage of. I hope that every time she uses that handbag and makeup bag she thinks of me and feels guilty. Probably not but that is what I would like to think.