Skip to Accessibility Tools Skip to Content Skip to Footer

My family is a walking bulletin board for MS

My story begins with my great grandmother. She had MS and suffered til the day she died. My grandmother had MS and suffered til the day she died. My mom has had MS at age 13 and still suffers from it and is almost 70. I am almost 50 and have had it real bad since I was in my 20’s.

I still have it and it plagues my every day of living. And now my fear that my daughter has it is coming true. She will not go get tested and wants not to know, I was like that also but I had no choice to face it when I could not walk or have any feeling in my body one day and my dad had to physically pick me up off the floor and take me to the hospital.

I was able to keep my MS under control until my doctor lost his hospital where I could get treatment and then he retired. Now I get no help and I am drowning in depression and my body keeps failing me. I am a very religious person and have a strong faith but the depression from the MS. is eating me up inside. I had to go on disability.

Don’t get me wrong it saved me to get a roof and food. But it is disabling too because I will never be able to do anything with my life it is not enough to live off of. My daughter is going to be getting married and I will not be able to afford to go to the wedding. It is killing me. My son died at 17 and this is my only child left and I want to see her get married. I will never see my son get married or have kids so it is important to see her do this. So if this makes me sound like I am feeling sorry for my self. I am trying not to. Its all getting piled up right now.

My MS is getting extremely bad and I feel like I am worthless to my family and friends. I can’t help myself and or my family. I always worked since I was 13 and I was always there to take care of myself and my family. How do you relearn to let other care for you when your an independent person all your life?

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Lamarfreed
    6 years ago

    Sometimes the losses from MS turn into a cascade that overwhelms our ability to cope. One loss happens faster then we can recover from the last. Having faith that the cascade will slow and you will be able to catch your breath and find some relief from time to time may be the best you can do at this point. Here is hoping that what you are experiencing now will turn into a temporary experience. Having said that, it is also not any great surprise that PWMS suffer more unexpressed anger — and in the case of depression, anger-turned-inward — than people without our disease. Don’t stop pursuing treatment for your symptoms, particularly for your depression. Of all the things PWMS get, depression is one of the most treatable. A caring psychologist or counselor and maybe the right medications can go a long way to reduce the sting of these losses.

  • Laura Kolaczkowski
    6 years ago

    Janis, your story sounds similar to others I have heard. Strong women, who despite the pain and suffering, are still here trying their hardest to remain connected. I am so happy that your daughter has found someone to share her life with, and understand your sadness in not being able to celebrate with her that day. Perhaps she and the new husband can find a way to have a small celebration with you before or after the official ceremony. Thanks for telling us about your family – I think yours is the first I have heard of each generation in the straight line being touched by MS. That stinks. gentle hugs, Laura

  • Poll