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Feeling worthless

I was diagnosed with the MonSter in January of 2000. I have actually had it longer…..my dr looked through my charts and saw I had symptoms since 1990 or so. I need to vent. Please bare with me. I need suggestions……..and guidance. As I am sure most of you feel, that nobody understands you, so I don’t vent to family and friends.
I woke up one morning. I had no feeling in my left leg, and fell flat on my face and could not get up. It will be 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I am a diabetic…and they ruled that out right away. They refer me to my neurologist.
So, I got discharged the following day, and was told to follow up with my dr. Right away.
So, I called on the following Monday. I already had a 6 month check up coming up on the 28th. But, I felt that I needed to be seen sooner. I left a message for them to call me.
So, the nurse calls me on Monday of this week. Says that he just wanted me to keep my appt on the 24th. I explained to her that I don’t have an appointment on the 24th, it is on the 28th. She looked and said, I was right. She would check with the dr. And see if he wants to see me sooner.
Meanwhile, I am on pins and needles. I am worried, I am scared, and wanting to, throw in the towel. So, the nurse calls me yesterday and says that he wants to just see me on the 28th. I told her that he is probably going to want an MRI …….can we do that now, and he will have the results on the 28th?? (Please remember I live over an hour away, and trying to avoid a second trip) she checked with him and said that he just wanted to wait until he sees me on the 28th.
I know that, when healthcare professionals go home, they try to forget all of their patients for the evening. I know that I am in one of the most sophisticated facilities in the Midwest. This still doesn’t make a difference if you feel like a number, instead of a human.
Any suggestions how to handle this tactfully, when I do see my neuro on the 28th?
Thanks for your time.
Feeling helpless and worthless in Indiana.

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Comments

  • Tara
    5 years ago

    I am not going to address this to feeling worthless, but to Tricia, just because you feel that way, doesn’t mean I have to reinforce it.
    Tricia, Take it from someone who has had MS for almost 25 yrs. & who has seen A LOT of different Doctors. No one should know your health like you. What that means is. Every time you go to the Dr. get a copy of the notes from that visit.Every test you are sent for. Get a copy of that order & the out come.Keep everything in a 3 ring notebook in order. When you go to a different Dr. take them with you. Get a copy of every MRI,C-Scan,Everything.. Don’t be afraid to fire a Doctor. If you feel they are not the best fit for you then tell them. I have told more then 1 doctor to put the crack pipe down cause they were smoking to much.
    I was seeing this Old Doctor. He was old school. He told me something that I will never forget & it has helped me a lot. He said, Look the word Doctor up in a dictionary. The word doctor means, a licensed to Practice any of the healing arts, to Try to heal. It doesn’t say. Will heal or have the power to know all & do all. He said, the only person who can do that is God & he knew he wasn’t a god. He then asked me if I would like to work with him in trying to better my health. He was my Doctor for yrs. He would still be my Dr. if he wouldn’t have retired.
    Tricia, If you are truly scared. Then go to the ER. tell them you have MS & you are having an attack & you need a treatment. You need to be the one in control of your own health. You have the final say. Don’t let anyone strong arm you into anything you know is not right also read everything you can about everything.
    Good luck & best of wishes. Tara

  • LesleyAnya
    5 years ago

    Feeling worthless,

    There is no need for you to feel worthless. I was diagnosed with MS in 2010, although I started having symptoms in the late ’90’s, the pieces did not complete the puzzle until my primary care doctor sent me for an MRI of my head. I am grateful that she did, otherwise I would still be losing my mind trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

    I have had several recurrences over the years, but only one landed me in the hospital. I was there for three days getting IV steroids. I also have Degenerative Disk Disease, Spinal Stenosis and neuropathy. However, the “wonderful” (read that as sarcastically as possible) doctors at UK Medical Center would not give me any medicine for the excruciating pain I was in. I had involuntary tears running down my face and I was miserable. Luckily for me, I had brought all my pain meds from home and I just said screw the doctors, I’ll take care of it myself.

    I still am not on meds for my MS, but I am working on it. I think after spending 3 days in the hospital and the neurologists there re-confirming the diagnosis of MS, my neurologist will put me on something.

    It is a never ending fight. Keep your head up and fight for yourself and what you need. Most importantly, remember that you are NOT worthless. Like my Grandmother always said, “God doesn’t make junk”. You would be surprised how many people you can help, just by sharing your story.

    All the best,

    Lesley

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