Finally it all makes sense - its PPMS!
Finally I admitted defeat and went back to doctors and got referred to neurologist. I wasn't prepared for the diagnosis of Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (PPMS), though after the initial shock it all all finally made sense.
The guilt dissipated, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't something that I wasn't doing. But actually though not 'cured', I had done a lot right, the yoga kept my muscles supple, the massage therapy eased the pain in my hips.
And now I am feeling stronger, I have totally changed my diet (Vegan with fish - no dairy, no meat, limited saturated fats), started neuro physio, boosted my Vit D levels and am in the process of changing my work.
The neurologist patted me on the back after the diagnosis, I was weeping into my hanky, 'I'm sorry' he said which such pity. I go back to see him in November, I will not be weeping then - I will be telling him of all the positive things that one can do to support oneself.
Stay happy, stay positive.
Does listening to music help lower the severity of your stress or MS symptoms?