If I Knew Then What I Know Now...

I would have prioritized my self-advocacy over self-doubt. I would have trusted my body to tell me what it needed rather than forcing a uniform lifestyle on it based on the internet. And I would have trusted myself more than all the unsolicited advice and opinions coming my way. MS has impacted me way less than I imagined it would or prepared for. I prepared for the worse, and I'm now more ready to live life to the fullest and share learnings with other newly diagnosed and uncertain Warriors.

My diagnosis as a wife, mother, and CEO

As a middle-aged Black woman living in the Midwest, my diagnosis came at a time of high stress and high career achievement which normalizes and minimizes stress symptoms as a simple part of life. I was (and still am) a wife, mother, and CEO with a very busy lifestyle, inclusive of lots of work and travel demands and civic engagement demands. My diagnosis caused me to drop everything - all my community leadership roles and all the volunteering because I felt so uncertain of what I could do, and I thought that my high-stress lifestyle was what caused the condition/disease. I had no other cause-effect relationships to pull on, it was an ONLY for me. And at that time, it was in competition with who I needed to be for my family.

For a time, I lost my identity

The diagnosis left me in a space of lacking identity. I no longer knew who I was and didn't know if I would be the same as I was before the symptoms began or if all would change and I would only get worse. It was a major pause. Now, three years later I can say that I've experienced symptoms that I'm certain are related to the condition versus a symptom like simple dehydration or sleep deprivation from watching too much television.

I know my body in a profound way now

It's helped me be a professional at knowing my body and why it's feeling the way it feels or responding to external stimulus the way it does. I can explain how I'm feeling perfectly when talking with my doctors and I have learned to keep track of it all. I can pinpoint when I need something or when I've had too much of something and immediately implement change. I've added professional patient on top of all my other titles. While I haven't reverted back to the busy busy person I was, I'm much better at navigating where my time and talent is best used and I'm happy using "No" as a full sentence. My closest family and friends are advocates for me and my 11 year daughter knows that her mother is strong and will continue to care for her. This experience has been life-changing but not life altering.