Skip to Accessibility Tools Skip to Content Skip to Footer

Listen. Not hearing. Listen.

Every day someone asks me how I’m feeling. Most of the time I just say fine, thanks.

Hearing vs. listening

Face it… few really want to know, just being polite. The ones close to you sometimes don’t even ask any more because they’ll get a true answer that they’re sick of hearing about like my legs hurt or it’s hard to walk or so very tired (different from fatigue). I have to admit that even I get sick of hearing myself tell someone the same answers repetitively. However, when there are days that I feel awful and really need to talk about it, please don’t just hear what I have to say… please listen… understand, or at least try. Do the research, read about MS.

All we need most of the time

Trust me when I say that we know when you really don’t wanna hear about it and we won’t be patronized; it’s an insult. When you come to me and say you have a headache, I will do what I can to make you feel better, even if it’s just listening. You don’t have to fix us because we can’t be fixed. Listening to us is just all we need most of the time. Just L I S T E N

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • TraciDL
    2 weeks ago

    This hits home. My closest, longest friend barely calls and if I try to answer honestly when she does and her 1st question is “hey how are you?” (I swear I can hear her eyes roll as she waits for my answer.) I then am interrogated and (seriously?) asked “why? Whats that from?” Ummm MS!?! why don’t you know about this or did you blow off our last call? Errr. I was then politely told that “her calls seem to upset me so….” you got it, a friend of 47 years tried to text dump me by using my MS against me. Nope! Lol Just. Don’t. Ask.

  • Tess author
    2 weeks ago

    I’m really glad you found it useful and relatable TraciDL. I’m sad tho that you, like so many others out there suffer hurt and disappointment in the same way. You never really know, can wholly rely on or completely trust anyone. This is my finding anyway. Reach out any time. It’s good to talk.

  • Erin Rush moderator
    8 months ago

    This is SPOT ON, Tess! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. Many people “hear”, but very few truly listen.

    I hope you have people in your life that are willing to listen and support you.

    And thank you again for sharing this!

    Best, Erin, Team Member.

  • Tess author
    8 months ago

    Thank you Erin for the nice comment and acknowledgement. It’s nice to “hear”.
    I do have a good listening support system. Take care Erin.

  • Poll