Malaise

I don't know if it's because today is the shortest day of the year or I'm not feeling well or that I'm exhausted or that I'm sad that Christmas is coming or that I visited my Uncle yesterday and I'm sad about his situation. I don't know if it's the MS or the Fibromyalgia or that Christmas is coming or that Christmas isn't the same without a tree and all the trimmings or that I wouldn't have the energy to even do it. I don't know if it's because my house is a mess as is my head or that I have a pile of dishes to wash. I don't know if it's because some Christmas songs make me cry or that I won't get to see my Meghan this Christmas. I don't know if it's because I'm mad at myself that my house is a mess and I have a sink full of dishes. I don't know if it's because my cousin has the world on her shoulders and I can't help. I don't know what it is but I know that all I want to do is go back to bed, cover my head and sleep until 2017 and pray that it will be better than 2016 has been. This blog post is giving me all the feels. All the feels suck. Life sucks sometimes, like right now.

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