Roles I've Come to Know

Last updated: November 2019

We all have one and as a matter of fact, I am one. A mother. Some of our a.k.a. tags are mama, mommy, and as my childhood friend called her mom, madear. Call us what you may but we are the ultimate caregivers. I will go out on a limb and say that most moms want to be considered as such, and many are. But to be honest, there are some that are reluctant, if only at the start, and grow into the mother caretaker role.

Wishing I could return to my former self

But hey, what if? What if you are that mother that lives up to the supermom hype? What if suddenly you became unable to provide for your child some of the things, the physical things they and you have been accustomed to giving, to doing? It does happen you know. Maybe not to you or anyone in your social circle. But to a great number of moms, and dads too, it has happened. The change might be due to an accident, a sudden major illness or even an unexpected chronic illness. In my case, it has been multiple sclerosis, which 3 years ago became secondary-progressive multiple sclerosis. And yes, there is anger and my wishing that I could return to that former self that had physical vitality and stamina to do things that are required.

Our roles have flip-flopped

And then there is the fun stuff. Every family has a list of, right? All that stuff on the list and believing them to be done the same old way. The truth is, adjustments may have to be made in order to do certain activities with and for your child. Grief felt over what I could no longer do, because of deteriorating capabilities was more than a bitter pill to swallow. As a matter of fact, I have choked on that pill very many times. And my youngest kiddo whom I live with is 22 years old and is a young woman with dreams and aspirations. Now our roles have flip-flopped. She is now my caregiver. The only one. My only one.

The true value of a mother

It took a therapist visiting me at home to remind me, after I shed a few tears in front of him, about my new normal, about my daughter's new normal. He reminded me that my role consists of, has always consisted of more than the physical. He said to me, "Nina is a young woman and she still needs her mother." Those wise words helped bring me back to my senses and to the true value of a mother... Nina's mother.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

or create an account to comment.

Community Poll

Does anyone else in your family have MS?