MS has given me a lot of guilt!

Disclaimer I have trouble thinking clearly and remembering punctuation and how to spell things so I don’t use punctuation and I spell very poorly so please forgive me.

Finding out I had MS

I found out I had multiple sclerosis in February 2008 I had four young children a husband that was working very hard and I was working from home I had had problems with my back for years I have degenerative disc disease so anytime I had any problem with numbness or tingling or weakness it was blamed on the degenerative disc disease as I’m sure many of you had other things that your MS was attributed to before they actually diagnosed you

My brother has MS

my brother just older than me had been diagnosed for years so when I finally went to the neurologist I asked him about having MS and he said there was no way that I could have it because it doesn’t run in families well he was very very wrong.

Choosing a binder

My neurologist didn’t tell me a whole lot about having MS and he didn’t help in choosing medication he gave me three big binders and said pick one so I picked the one that my brother was on and over the first years I ended up going through Copaxone Rebif and Avonex then I was put on Tysabri I was on that for a couple of years then a pill came out and I went on that for a little while then they put me back on the Tysabri then when Ocrevus came out they put me straight on that and that’s what I’ve been on for the past 2 1/2 years

Feelings of guilt

there are two big sources of my guilt one is that my children feel like they have missed out on having a mom because I haven’t been able to go to every activity at every school event and there’s nothing I can do about that but it still feels me full of guilt and number two my second oldest daughter was diagnosed with having it when she was in her very first month of college I carry the guilt of passing it on to her. More of my story to come later.