Multiple Sclerosis Isn't Terminal!

In the spring of '96, I was diagnosed with MS. I really didn't know how to receive the news, but it answered the question as to why I began to limp after walking across campus to attend an evening class; or why my entire left side would go completely numb when I would take my shower at night. I finally went to the doctor after being advised that I go get it checked out by my mother. After I had my diagnosis, I was still okay until I was almost killed in a car accident. It was only then, when I had to get around by bus or foot. I noticed how hard it was getting to walk without falling.

Then, I got another car, and my legs would not stay straight! Then I got to the point where I was compensating by moving my weak leg to control the pedals. Yeah, I had another accident. I haven't been driving since, but I may later with adjustments to the car. Next year, I will have been dealing with MS for 20 years. I do believe that I am qualified to make decisions on my treatment. Ten years ago, when I purchased my second scooter, the technician advised that I should get a wheelchair, because people with MS tend to loose function of their upper extremities. That scared me, and made me a little sad. Today I am being told by my neurologist that I've had for about 3 years that I may loose strength in my upper mobility. This doctor is supposed to be one of the best neurologist in the country. Every time that I leave the office of my neurologist, I'm feeling sad, down, hopeless, and yes, depressed. When is my body supposed to be falling apart? When is this bad stuff supposed to happen? Yeah, this does p me off, because I have these doctors that are supposed to guide me, or lead me to a better way of living with MS. I don't feel like my doctor is out for my best interest, he wants me to try some uncomfortable injection for 6-8 hours, (Rituxan) with a shot of pain reliever on the side. This drug isn't even FDA approved! That is crazy! I just got off of a 5 day caribbean cruise, and I couldn't be happier! My goal is to be able to take a cruise every year, maybe even two! No, I'm not a doctor, I am a person living with MS who pays attention to her body who is trying not to be sad everyday.

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