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My Pace

by Lisa B

I’ve lived with my MS diagnosis since 1990. I’m currently 58 years old. My symptoms started when I was a teenager. Having a hard time with the heat, not being able to stay on the tennis court because I thought I was going to die. This was at age 15-16.

In my twenties, I had doctors appointments because of numbness, walking, etc… The diagnosis was the birth control pill I was on!

After I had my first daughter things seemed to be normal. Actually. my three pregnancies were the best times I ever felt! Then a weird thing happened, I lost vision in my left eye! So I’m now doing another round of doctors, what’s wrong with this young woman?

A spinal tap got to the answer, MS! Wow! It only took basically 15 years to figure this out. I had just thought this is my normal and lived my life. Ok, in a weird way I’m relieved. Better to know what your dealing with than think your crazy, right? I’ve went on to have two more children, started the drugs, my vision had come back. Life was busy and things were manageable.

Well, here I am at 58, wonderful husband, fabulous children, son in laws. I thank God every day for how blessed I am. Unfortunately, I’ve reached a breaking point. Can’t walk that great anymore, use a cane. My lesions are head and spine. Because of that I have a ostomy and get 30 shots of Botox in my bladder every 10 months, I have zero bladder control. I cath and live with UTI’s on a regular basis.

Ok. that’s my story. But, I’m writing this because I need family, friends and who is in my life to understand this. I will ask you when I need help! yes, I walk slower than everyone, but I will get from the car to the restaurant at my pace. I will carry the groceries in at my pace! I will walk into the store at my pace! I will ask for help when needed! It’s exercise to walk up and down steps at my pace!

Please help me stay independent, physically and mentally! If I need your arm to walk up or down steps, I’ll grab your arm. Do not grab my arm first! This MS thing is getting tougher with secondary progressive. I am finding I need to stay mentally tough, cause if I don’t, the physical part is gone.

I’m still thankful for the wonderful life God has given me. My husband, children, family and friends.

I hope this helps you understand. Xoxo

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Dorry
    12 months ago

    Lisa I loved your post with transparency and honesty about how you feel and what you live with on a daily basis which no doubt keeps changing. I know much about having to PACE myself in everything I do.
    The things I love is having my son and daughter living with me and I can cook for them, and it gives me a reason to be here. I was born to serve and when I can’t serve anymore this will be my acid test.
    My legs and ankles are so swollen and I can’t walk well as my legs are tired and weak. I walk with 2 canes. I am housebound and lost a good quality of life. But I thank God that this happened now and not 9yrs ago when I nursed my husband through 2 major illnesses. ENCEPHALITIS AND MESOTHELIOMA. (Asbestos Cancer) nursed him for 3yrs.39days before he died. So yes despite our challenges their is always something to be thankful for. Even if it is to live to see another day. FAMILY is everything. Thank you for your post.

  • pjennjr
    1 year ago

    Loved your story, because I can relate to all you said. Thanks, it helped me out of a rough day!! Pjennjr

  • Erin Rush moderator
    1 year ago

    Hi Lisa B!

    Thanks so much for sharing your story with us! And I especially appreciate your words of wisdom at the end of your post. It’s a good reminder to all of those who know someone with MS. Finding that balance between offering support and not overstepping can be tricky for people to navigate. Your post lays it out there very clearly and kindly and is worth sharing! I am glad you took the time to write it out. And I am glad you have a loving, supportive family by your side. Thank you for sharing! Best, Erin, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member.

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