No Way

I was diagnosed in 2018 after a vague tingling in my right foot was getting a bit scary (and annoying). I was 57 at the time, a bit on the older side (or so I thought) for a PPMS diagnosis. I have many lesions in my brain. "Many" is the word my Dr. used. I still don't know how many is "many" but would it matter?

Things that were once familiar were no longer familiar

I was getting confused driving to work, a drive I'd taken for 30 years. My "tingle" was turning into numbness. I stopped driving right after diagnosis. Not only could I not fully feel the gas and brake pedals, nothing looked familiar anymore. Let me just say, I always thought when one goes "crazy" (for lack of a better word), the person would not know it. Simply put, the person would delve into another reality and be none the wiser. That is absolutely incorrect.

I'm very aware and it's frightening

I am aware of my cognitive issues, and I have never, ever been so scared in my life. There are times when I have to assure my son, Mattie (he is 32, he was 28 when I got the news) that I am lucid and know the day of the week it is. Not long ago, I asked my son to pick up my late sister. She had been gone 10 years at the time. So, this is life.

She never knew I face it too

Did I mention my sister also had PPMS? I wish I had been more patient, understanding etc. Sadly, MS did get her in the end; her house caught fire. She wasn't left alone by this point. No way she could escape. Again, sadly, her sister, the younger of the two, thought it more important to stop home after a long day. Me, me, me. She never knew I have the same. She would never, ever want that put on me. She was my everything and raised me.
I understand this is very sad. But it's my story. I do have a good sense of humor (if I say so myself).