OMG! Are you Serious?

I have been a registered nurse for 5 years. I come from a family of nurses, my mom, my grandmother. This makes things so much more difficult, so to speak.

My sister was diagnosed with MS 5 years ago, so we’ve been through the relapses and IV steroids, different treatment options. So I thought I understood what MS was all about.

NO! I was only diagnosed a month ago when I had total paralysis of my left hand. Nothing was numb or tingly. I wasn’t in any pain. My PCP told me that I may have pinched a nerve and to come back if it persisted. Well, it did, and got progressively worse. So after a trip to the ER and a change in PCP’s and much insistence about getting an MRI, here I am.

The problem with being a nurse is that you look at everything clinically. Constantly listing symptoms and medications, what is causing what, what drug helps what symptom. And then there’s the research.

We do our research a little differently. Sizing up the neurologist to see if he’s going to be adequate. DMD treatment options. It’s all very exhausting.

We are taught to stand back and look at everything without emotion. But who are they kidding! I am a single mother to twin 6 yr old girls and I can’t feel my feet!

The fatigue makes you feel like you are walking through sand. Ants are biting your toes and when you’re exhausted you can’t feel your face or legs, and your whole body had this awful buzzing feeling.
Two months ago I felt totally normal. And then I suddenly have a 16mm scar on my brain that turns my world upside down.

No, I didn’t know what MS was until I was actually amidst the myriad of hellish symptoms it causes. I’m thankful for my sister, she lets me call and complain about everything that’s going on. She says she’s glad to listen because she knows what it’s like to not have anyone understand.

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Comments

View Comments (3)
  • MSFighter
    3 years ago

    I hear ya! I don’t know anyone with MS, and CONSTANTLY feel like no one understands. Also, no one wants to hear about all of my ‘weird’ symptoms I have that make me sound like I’m mentally losing it. I mean have you seen the look some peoples faces when you try your hardest to explain? It says it all. I’d rather just say I feel tired and let that be it. I’d rather keep my “crazy lady” symptoms to myself in my own little world.

  • tjodedixon
    3 years ago

    well spoken! I’m a single mom of one but older. still have to work and live. have worked as a surgical tech for 25 yrs and I’m struggling to get an apt with a neurologist.peseverence

  • Becka2406 author
    3 years ago

    Yes ma’am. I fell at work the other day because I couldn’t feel my feet and then after that I was such a wreck and tremoring do bad that they sent me home. I wasn’t in trouble but it was the first time I have ever really felt limited like I couldn’t do my job anymore. It was so upsetting. I know it’s something I’ll have to learn to manage and pace myself better. But that was the worst feeling in the world.

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