The Inner Pain

By naif

1 min read

I was diagnosed with MS back in 2017. It started when I lost clarity of sight on my right eye. I was in denial for some time thinking that it was time to change the glasses. After the MRI that I didn't want to do yet was forces as my eye was almost not seeing anything except white, I was told that I have MS and I have to start using Betaferon for the rest of my life. Back then I left my job at an international company that I later learned it was because of depression that I didn't know I had. I went to a psychologist and he gave me Prozac.

Since then I start the struggle of being on a roller-coaster of emotions, and mood swings. I don't last in jobs, I am not good with dealing with gathering of friends. The worst part is many close people are telling me you are OK, and that you are only imagining this pain. The sad part they don't know my inner pain.

This is just a part of my story!!

I really don't know what to do... can anyone help me?

Share YOUR own story

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Lori Foster Member
Hi @Naif. My heart goes out to you. It's hard to know how to address your emotions when you don't entirely understand how they are playing out. Have you considered seeking out a therapist or psychologist who specializes in chronic pain? One small benefit of this pandemic is that most doctors are offering virtual appointments. You might be able to find a therapist you can work with virtually even if that person's office is located halfway across the country. You are not alone in dealing with such a lack of understanding. Most people with invisible illness can probably empathize. <a href="https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/what-to-do-when-loved-ones-dont-understand/" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Here</a> is an article from one of our advocates that might help. She gives some great tips for communicating with people who don't understand. Please know that we are here for you whenever you need support or a place to vent. You are not alone. - Lori (Team Member)
1. naif Member
 Thank you so much. I have tried therapy. The problem that I am taking Betaferon which has some side effects and that is depression. I am working on having the new medication and I wish it will help me get over my pain.. because the worst thing that the pain is not physical
joelle Member
I experienced some of the same rollar coaster ride, I was dx With Bipolar 2 .... Along with a dozen other "labels" from the psych, At the same time I was experiencing a lot of health issues that led me to believe I was " Hypochondriac" ..... I began self medicating with anything and everything that i beliebed would fix me fot a little while at least, As chemical dependency was a well known and practiced behavior I too was dx with being a alcoholic / drug addict by everyone else .... ( oh I too was than started on prozac) I actually found myself feeling better mentally and emotionally but still showed up at my drs with Gi issues , different kinds of pain and in different parts of my body, I had a new 6 month old daughter and i was havimg cysts rapidly grow and would have to be emergency removed. I found that odd as i never had any type of female issues. After about 10 months i had a ruptured ovary ... They sent to pathology , it came back cancerous , I DECIDED JUST TAKE IT ALL. OUT ! I NO MORE KIDS AND I WOULD GET BETTER I believed all my issues were due to that with hormonal and just hsving my second daughter. I had a migraine i could not descibe sine right after surgery until i was home.. No medication would help, i woke up 2 days later blind and could not stand up... I lived alone and i was thimking i had gone crazy. I was dx with RRMS within a a week. It dated back 12- 15 yrs . I have to say that. I hate rollar coasters today. I am currently receiving Rituximab (chemo) therapy as to try and slow down the now Pregressive MS, but i have to say. My drs have really helped me realize that. " I am not disease" and for the most part. Its the diseased part i have not accepted ,,, i believe we can all halt and by ghe3 grace of God find a cure... Its has been over 20 yrssince that dx. But its just a nasty monster in my closet.. I will throw out one of these days.. I. Believe that we are accountable to making a change in our lives to help ourselves feel good and find that cure. You as well ,,, no fear pricing questions I ask a lot we have to find the answers God bless and Godspeed
1. naif Member
 When I talk to people like you, I understand the meaning of real life hero. what you have been through is something I can't even imagine in my worst nightmares, yet here you are standing strong and a top fighter. I really bow down with respect to people like you. people that would fight to share a smile.. I really wish this amazing website can allow us to have like group call over zoom or something. because we can keep ourselves strong. Today I switched to a new medicine "Ocrevus" Really would love that it works well instead of Betaferon that was every other day. Keep it up, and we will get over this, Believe that