Pain, depression, and lost

So I'm new to this, not sure where to start. I was diagnosed with MS over 8 years ago. I have more bad days then I do good. It's hard cause I have such a hard time with talking and getting words out, memory is gone, the pain is to the point I can't handle it anymore. It's been almost a week sense my flare up started and it has pushed my depression into high gear. Ended up in the hospital yesterday which is I guess my fault, I refused to do treatments all these years. Well I did kenolog and prednisone but it doesn't do much for me but cause more problems. I really think I've been in denial all these years by thinking I could control my MS on my own and I have only made it worse. So i have made the decision that on the 14th I'm going to go to my neurologist and tell him I'm ready to start treatment and get this under control. It makes me sad to read every ones story cause I know what u are going through. I work a full time job running a gas station trying to keep my self going. I used to be on disability but not by choice, and the 6 years I was on that I mostly spent bedridden cause I wasn't staying active and just letting this disease eat me alive. Not having anyone to talk to or be able to ask questions that will understand and can give u answers isn't easy. Well I guess I am going to end this for now.

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