Physical and Mental Pain Both Suck
Hi. I just came across this website and registered. I read many stories, thank you all so much for sharing and letting me know I'm not alone.
I've had MS for 7 years. The first 5 years I felt fine, like it was no big deal to have MS, then the pain set in. I've come to think of them as one in the same, they don't exist without they other. You know the vicious cycle. Long lasting physical pain make me mental and being mental causes stress which causes more severe pain.
The pain can be in my upper thighs one day and the next day it's somewhere else. It may last a day or weeks and some of it now is lasting months. It can range from discomfort to the worse thing I've dealt with in my life. I didn't realize it was a head to toe disease, I thought I would just eventually end up in a wheelchair. I didn't know the in between years and symptoms would be so devastating and inconsistent.
As I'm sitting here writing this I feel exhausted I can hardly keep my eyes open let alone concentrate on writing this.
Back to the pain. Everytime I get new pain it feels different than before, it seems to get more and more painful. There's always the worry wondering if it's going to go away this time. Or are these symptoms here to stay? Am I disabled now, do I need to purchase a cane now because some days my balance is off. Am I going to have more days where I can't drive because my feet are numb and they slip off the pedals. Geez, am I going to wreck my car today because I stepped on the wrong pedal? Am I going to be able to continue to work?
No one seems to get how terrible I feel and how troubled I am. I feel cursed.
Do you celebrate your MS Anniversary?