At 30 My Life Changed Instantly

By lvmyboy

2 min read

I had my son at 28, custody battle for 3 years, and worked full time 7 days a week so my son could have a great life. Then I started having seizures, and my job was sales on the road, and I went for an MRI. My doctors said you have MS.

My MS progressed quickly

The good part was my body waited til court was over before it decided to react. My doctors pulled me from work and I was on short term and long term disability, but I figured it’s a nice vacation until they said your MS is progressing fast. So I went from working and a great life as a mom and friends to depressed, not understanding why I have this and believing I was going to die and my son will have no mom.

My 2-year-old was well-versed in MS symptoms

It took me over 6 years to accept but not fully. My son's life at 2 was witnessing seizures, MS relapses, unable to play outside in the heat, or being in the sun with and overheated. He lost every fun moment we could have together. He was very smart at an early age and knew when to call 911 and if I was having a seizure or MS relapse which is sad.

My son is the best kid and still researching ways to help me but doesn’t understand why my treatment says it’s working 100% but I’m not better but that’s where everything comes to a confused state of mind.

Pain and insomnia

Why can’t I have some of my life back where I can do things with my son. Being in bed wrapped in a heated blanket, tons of blankets, and the amount of pain and tons of insomnia. I have isolated so badly lately and could care less about doing anything at all. I don’t leave my bed nor do I leave my apartment unless my son needs to go somewhere.

Isolation

Isolation helps me stay away from negative energy and people but I lost one thing that got me out of this slump which is art. Instead, I wander around forgetting what I was going to do or if my memory will come back or is this permanent. My eyes are blurry bc of 2 cataracts and it’s giving me anxiety thinking about surgery or calling my doctor about it getting worse... I tried doing hobbies but my friends - former - all used me which takes away from my son.

Declining everyday with no answers

I don’t sleep or I sleep too much. Never mind having a relationship with any man because they don’t want to deal with it.

They always say it’s too much - no kidding how do u think my poor child handles it, well because his heart is the type who is compassionate for everyone and it’s one blessing getting this because I’m more humble and a much better mother. Only thankful for that reason but I hate my dreams were crushed in a matter of seconds.

I will pass away as one that never was married or had a loved one by my side and there for my child. I pray that soon my health improves but I’m just declining every day and no answers for my son.

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Lori Foster Member
Hi <inline-mention user-id="4037724" username="lvmyboy"/> . My heart goes out to you, but please know you are not alone in feeling this way and that things can change for the better. To survive and thrive with MS, you have to be your own advocate, and that means advocating for your mental health as well as your physical health. Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling or make an appointment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. There is nothing abnormal about getting depressed when you have a chronic illness, especially one like MS, but it is treatable. Dating with MS is hard, but many, many people in this community have found love. Here is a wonderful article from one of our advocates about her attempts at re-entering the dating game: <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/online-dating-approach/' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/online-dating-approach/</a>. I hope this helps. Please continue to fight for the best possible treatment for both your physical and mental health and know that you are worth it. Clearly, your son agrees. Sending lots and lots of hugs your way! - Lori (Team Member)
1. lvmyboy Member
 Thank you Lori .. means the world to me. I am on meds for depression and I had A therapist but due to Covid it hasn’t been working out but my goal is to find another one and also follow through for my son as he needs his mom.. thank you for letting me share my story and thank you. For this page!
kdpunshon Member
Hi there, the only reason I am on this site is because my son has MS. Last month he decided to go off his treatment. He has decided he doesn't have MS. As a mother you never stop worrying about your children even when they are adults. I read your story and really felt for you. It is difficult to even know what to say to comfort you in such a challenging situation. All I know about life is that sometimes we are dealt hard hard things to deal with and it seems so unfair. A religious person will say that "God never gives a person anything they cannot handle". I am not religious but I like that idea. And some times the reasons for our difficulties is not readily apparent. Sometimes they show up later and we have to find the courage to deal with them as best we can. I am really grateful that you had the courage to write this painful story of yours. I am sure that many will read it. Some will relate. Some will feel empathy for you. Some will feel gratitude that their own life is easier (for now). Thanks to you, every reader will have a connection with your suffering and I am hoping will send a little love your way to make your day even just a little brighter. Although I am sure your lovely child does that for you. I hope the moment you read my message is a better moment for you than when your wrote your story. For that I am sending a prayer your way.
momof9 Member
My daughter-in-law has had MS for over 18 years and is only 42 and has had 5 children and she can tell you that your story is so similar to hers. Please don't despair--there are answers to this and you are not alone. Reach out to other MS people and you'll see they can help you in s many ways. You are more than welcomed to reach out to me as well--I've been helping my daughter-in-law a lot since her husband (my son) said he could not take it anymore and has left. No need to go through this alone.

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