Relationships….

This forum gives me a chance to tell my side of the story. As my partner, who left me 3 months after diagnosis, did not really want to hear it. Or maybe he couldn’t?!

Before my diagnosis of MS I was under a lot of stress: bullying at work with with the thread of redundancy, a lot of my friends moving away, problems with my sister and me not knowing how to financially survive if I did loose my job. My partner of 2 years tried very much to help, but moving together (even if only temporarily) was never and option for him.

Anyway… the stress got too much and I was diagnosed with MS while staying at my parents for Xmas. I could hardly walk and could not get back to work. First my partner was very supportive. But I needed to make a decision, whether to go back to work and come back to London. I asked him, whether he would help me and if he could see himself moving in with me. That is when he finished the relationship. He did not really give me a reason… though I think it is obvious that is was too much for him.

So I quit my job, left London and moved in with my parents. But our “relationship” continued for another 2 years … though he called it a friendship. And then one day he just did not reply to my phone calls or emails anymore. He cut me dead.

I know that he isn’t a bad guy and that it all probably just got too much for him. He helped me a lot too, in the first days of diagnosis, when I called him every day and he tried to calm me down. But the ending was so sad and hurtful. Not that he did leave me, but that we could not have a “final” talk to get closure. In my view the situation was very difficult for both of us and we both just weren’t able to make it as a couple. And we both made mistakes along the way.

What hurts so much is, that he always wanted (and still wants) to give the impression, that he is perfect, really caring and never makes mistakes. A sincere “sorry” would have been good to hear. But “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”.

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