So far…

I’ve had MS since I was 37. I recently turned 59. I’ve handled most of the curveballs MS has thrown at me so far. There’s lots I could do to be a better MS patient, just like there’s lots I could do to be a better diabetic. I like to think I learn from my mistakes…sometimes. I’m not always good at differentiating whether an issue is MS or diabetes. Sometimes I feel stupid because of that, but that feeling of inadequacy will eventually pass.

I often wonder if I’m taking the right medication for me (today I think, yes I am.) I discuss this with my neurologist when I begin to doubt myself.

Trying to accept myself

I should exercise more. Not just because of the MS. Also because I am a big girl. I’ll always be a big girl. Even if I exercise. I can live with that, but I would like to move more effectively. I used to love to exercise—run, bike, swim, aerobics classes—and I often miss that person. I swim during the summer and the place where I live has an indoor pool, but I don’t enjoy that as much.

I’m really good with excuses. But I know I’ll never be that super athlete that I once was. I like to think that if I could do a better job of accepting my current self and my abilities then I would move more. But I’m not there yet…so far.