Understanding M.E. I mean M.S.

My dealings with ms started a couple years ago and was by a mutual friend’s fraudulence of it (since ms is such a case by case specific disease, she used it once confronted about not having glaucoma to reason her outrageous spending on shades4 “light sensitivity” she was having NOT TRUE) I researched it and noticed my fatigue bouts and occasional balance problems all fell in line with ms along with pins and needle sensations I would have for no apparent reason. I though nothing of it & made several excuses ie clumbsiness laziness numbness for the small attacks up until 6 months ago.

While aboard my ship 6 months ago I again had the bouts of unsteadiness and falls, a couple days before I started having a pain in my back & ribs & stretched but once I tried to cross thru the watertight door, I really couldn’t lift my left leg or arm high enough. I visited my boat’s corpsman and was told I probably pinched a nerve. A diagnosis I’ve become all too common with while in the navy. The next day I had severe trouble walking & bearing weight on my left side. A 5 min walk took me 28 mins dragging my leg being stared at horribly by the shipyard workers & some shipmates.

I left field day and went to the local navy hospital where I was REFUSED to be seen in the ER stating i’ll be fine its cramps & doesn’t warrant treatment on top of “your ship’s corpsman should’ve sent you with a referral”. Once @ another hospital I was taken back & when told to undress for xrays I fell on spot in front of the doctor. I was rushed for hours of MRIs which discovered the lesions and was told in front of my wife I have ms.

After a week of VERY STRONG steroids which caused me to vomit every way from sunday I slowly regained my ability to walk& avoided answering truthfully to my oldest son who asks me are you ok dad? What happened to your leg? I thought I was in the clear until my wife started pointing out to me “You keep forgetting what you’re doing. You developed a stutter honey.” Then bring on the migraines which have me doubled over in pain, vomiting and getting worse with lights. I often hide it from my chain of command so I wont be seen as a burden & that I am the same guy.

It has taken a great toll on me emotionally since I just want to be the same guy from before but it has changed me so much; keeping my cane near in case I need it, daily injections, lack of production fighting migraines & reaching the bar I set before my attacks. I know I have ms and I notice the changes with me now. I do whatever I can under my doctor’s guidance to control it but I now tell me. In order for me to know me, I have to know ms.

V/R,

NEVER going to give up

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (1)
  • JulesPMH
    6 years ago

    Have you heard of “the Spoon Theory”? It’s apparently well known, but I only heard of it this past spring (after 7 years of the chaos of MS) when my husband brought it to my attention. It was originated by a woman named Christine Miserandino, who wrote her dissertation about her lupus and, essentially, living with it and helping others understand. She began giving scheduled talks on her dissertation, and it eventually ended up on YouTube and then – boom – went viral. It has essentially become the emblematic video for people with chronic illness, disability, even pain (like me).

    Here’s the link if you’d like to check it out:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn5IBsm49Rk

    I mention it for a very important reason…
    It’s not only helpful for other people.
    I cried when I saw it for the first time, because I FINALLY understood the realities of chronic pain and chronic disability (my husband’s MS) and the fact that you have to accept your limitations, NOT try to do it all – because you can’t – and count your spoons. . .
    And until you DO – your chronic condition will not JUST be taking over your life, but it will have control of it. Once you start counting, you may still have to COUNT in order to have that control, but the control is returned to YOU, and that is a HUGE difference…
    I haven’t learned how to “accurately” count my spoons yet. I still try to do too much. But just understanding the concept and having that tool to try to help others understand was well has made a HUGE difference.

    I highly recommend checking it out!

  • Poll