Why Me??

Last updated: July 2022

My story is long so I’m going to try to condense it as much as possible.

I’ll start with being sexually abused by a family member when I was just a little girl. I never told anyone until I got into therapy. The only one who knows is my husband and the therapist.
About my husband. We met when I was 15 and he was 17. I got pregnant at 18, married, and had one additional child. One boy, one girl. We have been married since 1978. I couldn’t be happier.

What put me into the hospital

I worked at a school as a special education assistant. I had other part-time jobs but this was my first full-time job. After working there for 5+ years I started getting sick. Kinda like allergies on steroids!! One day my breathing was so bad I was put on a breathing machine. I continued to have attacks and was put on the ventilator, 20plus times. The teachers union had the school tested. Aspergillosis was the culprit. It was growing in my lungs. Being on massive amounts of steroids I blew up to 250 lbs. I’m now back to a normal weight now after years of trying.

The terrifying ordeal that sent me back to the hospital

After recovering from that ordeal I went back to work full time. I was a Nuclear Medicine Specialist Secretary. I loved my job!! At lunch one day I started talking funny and rushed to the ER. I had a stroke. An undiagnosed hole in my heart threw a clot. I lost everything but fought back. I could walk with braces but never got the use of my left arm back. I would go to the ER thinking I was having another stroke. This would happen over and over. 2 years after my stroke and many hospitals visits I was told I had Multiple Sclerosis. So that’s kinda my story.

All of this has got me thinking...

Today I’m in a wheelchair, can only use one arm and I’m losing my sight. I had a grandson who was born with half a heart and had a transplant at 7 months old. He is now 11, nonverbal and has autism. I don’t know why all this happened to me. Was I being punished for keeping my sexual assaults to myself? I never told anyone because I was threatened. Was it because I got pregnant at an early age? I don’t know why my life is full of things that should have never happened. Why? I always said I was going to write a book. How can one person have so many very bad illnesses? I have PPMS and pray things will get better, but only get worse. The good news is I’m going to have a granddaughter in August. She will be the sister of my grandson. I’m so proud of my grandson and how far he has come.
So that’s my short version of my story. I’m a Warrior who will never give up! I just don’t know why me???

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