Are You Getting Worse?
This question hit me hard, because I didn't want to think about it. After all, where I live, there is still snow on the ground so naturally, I have been mostly inactive, inside all winter long and here it is the last of April, so naturally any exercise will seem like an extra exertion, right?
A gentle incline that felt like Mt. Everest
So I started taking walks down to the campground not far from where we live. An "easy" walk for me on the way down. Trouble is, it's uphill most of the way back. Not awful, just a gentle incline that feels like scaling Mt. Everest.
When I didn't make it back home within a reasonable amount of time, my husband drove down to the campground to pick me up. I was SO glad to see him and grateful to get off my legs! Truth be told I was done for, for the rest of the day. Eyes feeling like they were in a pinball machine, legs so weak I could hardly stand, along with a host of other things going on.
"Do you feel like you're getting worse?"
When I finally got settled down a bit I noticed him looking earnestly at me, and then... "I want you to be honest with me, do you feel like you're getting worse?" We both broke out in tears and when I managed to I squeaked out a "no." We broke out in what seemed a ridiculous, pressure-relieving laughter, and I could almost hear him thinking LIAR! He knows I am hugely goal-oriented, and very driven in certain areas. So we managed negotiations for now. No more walking down to the campground. Instead, I drive. (It's only 1/2 mile) that way, I have my "safe place" if I should need it, my car.
It makes my sweetie feel better and I SURE feel better! As for that question, well...guess we'll find out....!
Your life matters
I want everyone who reads this to know that you are greatly loved, thought about, and no matter what happens, your life matters! M.S. can be so unpredictable, scary, and painful, physically and emotionally, and even though we all experience it to different degrees, we all experience it together.
How many specialists did you see before finding "The One"?