You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!

Getting diagnosed late in life, I was 55 and I am now 61, was a real kick in the pants. As far back as I can remember I had issues with balance, mild seizures, “a trick knee”, fatigue, and just plain PAIN!!! 6 years ago I suffered a seizure that was not so mild. I had not had one since the mid 80’s and it was truly a scary incident. My GP sent me to a neurologist immediately based upon my history and after 1 visit and 1 MRI with spinal tap there it was. MS. Now, at last a reason for why I was the way I was. But what next? Putting a name to the constant effects that plagued my body was finally a relief. I now knew that I was not just getting older. There is a reason I hurt so much. There is a reason I fall down a lot. There is a reason I don’t make it to the bathroom in time all the time. For years I had been putting up with it and not saying anything and not allowing it to rule my life. I still work 50-60 hours a week. I still drive. I still walk. Yes now I have to use support to walk but I still walk. I still am the comedian in my social and personal life. I am how I am and will not allow the disease to redefine the way I live work or exist. I have had the disease and not known it for half my life and believe me that is not an easy pill to swallow. But I have the most wonderful person in the world who has been by my side for almost 30 years and when I tell you that she is the core of my strength you can believe it. When you have someone beside you that can laugh with you as you stumble over your words, wake you up with a smile when you fall asleep while eating, and help pick you up when you fall, that is a reason to not allow this disease to rule your life. When I put on my be-dazzled ice vest that fits to a tee, I have her to thank. When I am starting to feel like maybe it’s time to retire on disability, she is the one who tells me that I would not be happy and that I would be giving in. I am fortunate. I am lucky. I have a partner who knows this disease inside out, even more than I do, and protects me from myself. I once asked her why she was still with me? She told me that even though she could not fully understand what I was going through, I allowed her to just to be there for me. I allowed her to see me at my weakest and strongest. I allowed her to hear me say “I need help“. Allowing someone to support you is a very big obstacle that once gotten over can truly be life changing. I truly hope that if there is just one person out there who is afraid to open up that they reconsider. Sharing your life with someone means just that. Sharing. No matter what. You will be surprised just how strong your weaknesses make you. Enjoy your life my friends!!

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