It's my birthday!
Oh what a feeling! Or rather mixed feelings. I'm turning 40, and in three days I have my spinal MRIs to continue on this path to a diagnosis. So I'm celebrating this weekend, and I've labeled Monday as 'migraine Monday' since I'm doubling up and doing both cervical and thoracic spine in the same appointment.
I'm happy, I'm excited, I'm sad, I'm anxious, I'm hopeful. I lost my older brother 14 years ago, he was 30, and he should be celebrating his 42nd birthday this weekend.
There's really no point to this post, other than to just clear my mind for a minute.
Oh, and I didn't end up getting yo-yos in time, but I did hand out a large amount of candy and fruit 😁
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happy birthday! I'm so glad you took the time to post and share this with us. That's certainly a lot of understandably emotional experiences. First, I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your brother. I'm sure you miss him terribly, and hope that you're able to keep his memories alive in whatever way feels best for you.
Best of luck with your imaging this week. They're never fun to go through but they are so helpful to have. We'll be thinking of you.Do you have any special plans for your birthday - a favorite meal that you like to enjoy or something? It sounds like you got a jumpstart on "gifting" your birthday to your coworkers which I still think it such a fun concept! I'm sure that they loved the candy. Happy birthday!
Best
Alene (team member)thank you. Growing up, with our birthdays four days apart and a low income family, we always split the difference to a weekend. It's hard and I miss him. It took me 10 years to even be able to talk about it. His passing is ultimately what lead me to where I am now. And every year I honor him. That's probably half of the motivation for me to turn my birthday into bringing joy to the people around me.
I'm taking Monday off work entirely for the MRIs, but I have frisbees to take in on Tuesday and everyone gets one!
Turning 40 has unearthed some buried emotions, and I'm working on accepting them. My best friend in the whole world died August 1st, 2023, three months before her 40th birthday. She battled cancer for several years, and we knew it was coming. And now, I just carry these souls that have changed my life with me. My brother, my best friend, my Dad, all the other friends I have lost along the way. They are a part of my motivation every day to reach another benchmark and to continue to bring joy into the world. Because they gave me joy.
For my birthday, all I wanted to do was relax at home with my husband and our roommate. Speak with my mom and sister on the phone. Relish life and enjoy it. And I did! I don't care that my body is uncomfortable, I don't care about the uncertainty today, I don't mind the twitches and tremors and wobbles. I'm just celebrating.
And I'm open to midlife crisis ideas. I've already done the shaved head, the career change (more than once), the hitchhike around the country beatnik, the run off to Vegas and get married by Elvis, and need something good for my 40s. I'm thinking maybe surprise trip to Hawaii? I've got to wait until at least 50 before the sports car or RV purchase. 🤣
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- Happy birthday! I'm sorry that joy and sadness are combined at this special time. It must have been fun growing with celebrations so close together, or maybe even combined. Good luck with the MRIs. They are never really anybody's favorite thing to do. I hope that the migraine day goes quickly. - Lisa thank you! I grew up a child of crisis, so I'm very accustomed to the mixed emotions. I embrace them now, they keep me humble. For everything and everyone I have lost, I channel that back into the world as positivity.
The MRIs... not really looking forward to the day but I took the day off from work and have a gel eye mask thing hanging out in the fridge waiting for me. 😁
💜💜You have been able to put all your life's challenges/experiences into a super attitude. Well done! That is an awesome idea about the eye gel mask. I'm going to keep that idea close 😉 All the best with your MRI. Take care, Jenny (Team Member) get a two pack 😁 they have them nearly everywhere now. I keep them both chilling in the fridge, and when I need them I can use one for about 15 minutes before tossing it in the freezer. And rotate between the two.
And I am the person who takes everything and puts a positive spin on it. I always look at a larger picture. And sure, some of my experiences traumatized me, but I'm a better and more empathetic person for them. I learned, I grew, I developed my communication, I learned to reach out for help, and I learned how to give help. I am at peace with my past, and am focusing on how I can keep shaping my future.
Thank you for your kind words, I will hold them with me as I head to my MRI appointment tomorrow. Much love 💜💜
