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Not coping

Hi everyone,
After dealing with some troubling symptoms I have started the testing for MS. I have already had blood tests and ct scans and will now be seeing a neurologist in a month.
I'm a 27 years old female and have convinced myself I have PPMS. When I was 22 years old I woke up with less sensation in my leg, although it was not numb. This has not gone away. 6 years later I have been getting worse gradually over the course of a few months. I will wake up with numb hands, I have tingling in my legs constantly, fatigue, tingling on my face, balance problems, and my left arm is weak and hurts. I have noticed I have been feeling wobbly easily in the mornings, but now I feel unbalanced all the time. Its not bad enough for people to notice but I just feel off.
I have had such a hard time coping with this possible diagnosis. Especially if it's ppms. Like I said I am only 27 and have 5 kids. I have become extremely depressed and anxious. I have lost 12 pounds in a month and have missed days from work from simply not wanting to get up. I have threatened suicide to my family and was almost committed into a mental hospital. I have been prescribed celexa for the depression and anxiety. I am starting therapy soon. My family tries to reassure me the best they can and tell me positive MS stories, but nothing helps. I am terrified I have PPMS and I truly feel like life is over. This is affecting my life in every way. The symptoms, depression, and anxiety is too much for me. I have had to call a crisis line many times In the past few weeks.
I'm just needing to hear some reassurance, A positive story, or somthing to help me through this hard time of waiting!

  1. Hi @Llamommy3. I am sure this is a scary time for you. Please know that there are so many other health conditions out there that can mimic MS. Some, like Lyme disease, can be cured or well-managed. Here is an article that discusses some of those conditions: I know it is hard not to focus on the possibility of MS, but it is really important to find out for sure exactly what you are dealing with so you can move on. If it is MS, it still might be RRMS . Regardless, there are medications that can help, even with PPMS. My guess is that you have been reading up on MS and probably taking in some of the worst-case scenarios. The MS journey is different for everyone. If you are diagnosed with MS, it is possible that this is the worst it will get. You have no way of knowing and your have five kids who need your joy in their lives. Do yourself a favor and stop reading those stories. Live for your own future, not for theirs. I am glad to hear that you have been reaching out and getting help with the depression and anxiety. Those are normal and natural feelings for someone who is facing the possibility of a chronic illness. You need to treat those issues like you would any other symptoms -- reach out and get treatment. Please keep us posted if you feel comfortable doing so. I will be thinking of you. I hope this helps and that you get a diagnosis that puts your mind at ease. Best of all wishes! - Lori (Team Member)

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