Positive acceptance of this monster
First time posting but have been reading the forums for a while now, so here goes. I was diagnosed in 2015 and it didnt really register and properly kick in until some years later - just after the Covid years i believe and the fact me, a fit go getting male suddenly became overwhelmed with this thing i have and the negativity affecting everyday life. Now 53, the main issue for myself is not the endless fatigue, pain, blood tests, tablet taking, tremors, eyesight and all the other lovely treats but it is the acceptance of not being able to do what i once took for granted. Changing a plug, creating gastronmic feasts, playing with my kids, grandkids, no more running anywhere, planning every trip (just in case) and ultimately giving up my passion of playing drums in a band due to not being able to hold the drumsticks tightly enough, the co ordination and balance needed has gone along with my motivation - the fatigue and downsides are overtaking the upsides. Is it just me or am i less of a man, as i cannot do what i use to do - work, home, leisure - the mental side of not being able to do things is taking over. I have a wonderful supportive wife and family but they have seen the old Jon fade away and be replaced by a Jon that needs to replace his smile and get back on track. I wonder if any of you have felt/experienced the same sort of thing? (asking for a friend) - stay safe all and keep smiling
We're so glad you've shared your experience with MS here. It’s one thing to read others' comments, but expressing yourself in this space fosters deeper understanding and compassion and you deserve that in your journey. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by the changes MS has brought to your life, especially as someone who was once so active. The emotional toll can be just as heavy as the physical limitations. Losing parts of yourself, like your passion for music or the ability to engage in family activities, is incredibly difficult. You’re not alone in this—many of us have faced similar struggles with acceptance and the mental side of living with MS. Feeling this way doesn’t make you any less of a man; it shows how much you care about what brings you joy. It’s great that you have a supportive family, but it’s also important to acknowledge your feelings. Replacing that smile takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the things you miss.
I want to share two articles that may help you navigate these emotions: Hope versus Acceptance- https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/hope-versus-acceptance and Accepting Truth- https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/accepting-truth.
I hope you find new ways to connect with your passions, even if they look different now. No matter what, you are and forever will be Jon. MS may have changed you on the outside, but you are still you on the inside. Take care of yourself, and keep reaching out—sharing your journey is a step toward healing. Wishing you all the best,
Latoya (Team Member)
