Happy new year! My new year's wish is that vision returns in my right eye. I awoke on Dec 29th with some optic nerve damage...it will be the 3rd time since 2019. It's the worst attack yet. I had a good run of few symptoms until November. I'm still without any diagnosis, so I'm not really allowed to complain to friends and relatives about anything that happens. They can't see what is going on, and one actually called me a hypochondriac when I told him that I can't see out of my right eye. Silly me...just worrying about nothing. I am grateful that it has not been worse. It would be nice if those in my orbit were supportive and not dismissive. I'm lucky it has only been one eye because I don't need their help or sympathy. When I had trouble walking, I remember coworkers telling me everyone has leg pain and I just need to get exercise or change my diet or whatever. They'd roll their eyes if I asked to keep the lights off over my desk so the brightness didn't hurt so much or when I wore sunglasses inside. The only thing worse for me than having symptoms is having symptoms and having to pretend I'm perfectly ok because I can't prove what is causing them. Even my GP has made a subtle sarcastic remark when I told her it was not unusual for me to have a flair up after the Flu vaccine (since I've had one every time I get vaccinated). She said it was not unusual "for YOU".
So how do you do it? Do you just "toughen up" and stop trying to relate to anyone else? Is it any easier if your condition has a label given by someone with a doctorate? Part of me wants them to be right...that I could just go get some therapy and my eye sight would return and the nerve pain flair ups would subside. I'd love to use mind over matter to stop my hearing from dropping out at inopportune times. I wish I could practice breathing exercises in order to stop my legs from burning and losing sensation when I walk. Maybe if I'd just start being honest this tightness around my ribs would go away. Maybe some exercise so I wouldn't tire so easily. I wish I would just shut up and stop being so difficult.