Spotlight: Relationships
Managing relationships can be tough enough. Adding in MS just adds another dynamic. Do you have any tips on managing MS and relationships? Share here!
It’s OK to share how you’re feeling or what hurts but don’t dwell on it. No one wants to hear the negative all the time. Try to focus on what’s right today or at that moment. It may not always feel like it, but the glass is always half full. Sometimes we just have to switch our focus. Do what you can do today because we all know MS can change things tomorrow. Find the joy… It’s always there but may be harder to see some days. People want to be with happy people... we’re all attracted to happiness and joy. Keep on smiling 😀
Unfortunately, I don't have any relationship tips. But, I do know that MS affects our sex lives, I don't know why they are reluctant to have and enjoy sex with a MS person, even if it is their spouse!
Make sure to get as much knowledge of the disease you can. I personally went on with my everyday like I didn’t have MS. I didn’t do the research I should have when diagnosed 13 years ago. It’s hard on you. And the mood swings that come with it can be very unbearable to loved ones. Personally I sank into deep depression and sunk myself into my job. There are some good days. But with all this I started heavy drinking and living very destructive patterns I couldn’t explain. It took a toll on my family. I’ve had a very rude awakening. And am now 2 weeks sober, and learning about the disease and myself again through therapy. Knowledge is key to this disease I’ve learned. Make sure everyone your associates with and close too understand as much as the can. Just learn and live the best the disease will allow. I’m in pain everyday. But for the first time in a long time I can eventually see me beginning to smile. Good luck and educate yourself.
I was diagnosed 3 years ago and it's been difficult in my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and I am so moody, depressed, and if it wasn't for him wanting sex, I wouldn't do it. Every time I see my husband look at another woman, it feels like a piece of my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I recently checked our phone records to see who he talks to and he says I nag about where he is and what he's doing. He works offshore so I only see him 1 week out of the month but I also work a full time job. I dont know what's going on in my head. I also forget things so simple it scares me lately. Some days I just feel like he's being cheated out of a better life and that I should just tell him to go so he doesn't have to deal with me or MS.
I’ve felt this way myself. I’d like you to remember… EVERYONE has issues. Yes we have MS and yes it’s a BIG deal but your husband married you because he loves you! Yes MS threw a wrench into the mix but it’s how we deal and cope with the issues that makes us stronger. Depression digs into us deep, it’s up to us not to give in to it! You are worried about your husband because you feel less than what you brought into the marriage but you have to remember you still have your heart and sole the big part he feel in love with! If he got hurt on the job and you had to care for him would you love him less? Our brains are complex and sometimes we allow it to get the better of us. When he’s gone have a friend to talk to (a good friend to help steady those stray feelings can help). These feelings build and cause too much pain and will rot your heart, don’t let your depression turn what you have sour. When he’s gone plan a nice dinner when he gets back. Use surprises to boost yourself up. Show him you still have the same heart he married. I know things seem difficult and hard but these are the times we get up dust ourselves off and make something out of nothing! I’ve learned to do things differently as some things I’m not able to do the same, like I said we have to learn to adjust. Fatigue is not our friend but you can learn to adjust/ redirect where it’s easier for us. You aren’t alone these feelings are normal for what you’re going through so please don’t feel guilty feel empowered as I believe god only gives us what we can handle even though trust me I’ve been dealt a lot! Faith and friends and family can get us through more than we know. with briefs plastic pants and chux underneath, it’s impossible to sleep with someone else.
