You're going through a lot, ! It's no wonder your body and mind are crying out right now. And don't even get me started on MS related fatigue! I don't think people understand just how 'tired' a person can be unless they live with a chronic condition like MS. It's a whole other level of exhausted! And you're not alone in this! Many of our members talk about dealing with extreme fatigue (and insomnia!).
I am so sorry you are struggling to get in to the doctor and doubly sorry that your neurologist quit! I have to admit, I am really wondering what qualifies as a better job. Hmmmm . . . . . I know being a neurologist is not easy and maybe he/she is just switching practices. Still, I'm intrigued.
But, back to you. You are doing everything you *can* do at this point. You're collecting your records and trying to get in to see the doctor. You are aware of your fatigue and depression and are trying to be proactive in getting to the root of what's going on.
And, depression sucks because if sheer willpower and determination could fix it, well, most people would be able to 'fix' their depression. Do you have any mental health support; be it a supportive friend or loved one, a counselor or therapist? Also, it's hard to feel good when you're tried and hurting and your moods are low. It's no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to share this article from a mental healthcare professional that also happens to have MS. She shares some great insight about caring for your mental health when you live with MS and her tips are honest and practical -- https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/mental-health-professional.
Did you get that appointment for the doctor scheduled, even if it is a couple weeks out?
Please know you are welcome to vent here anytime and you don't sound like a lunatic! We all need a safe space to vent, so please, vent away!
Also, I know we can't control the stress that comes into our lives, but I hope the rest of this year settles down for you, stress wise, and that you have a much less stressful 2024!
Gentle Hugs, Erin, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member.