Working up the nerve to have that MRI
Hi all. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but have suspected MS for years now. I didn't even know much about MS until five years ago, when my younger brother was diagnosed. He's 34 now and I'm 38. For him, it started with blurry and double vision. The eye doctor sent him to a neurologist who confirmed MS. We were shocked. I myself struggle with anxiety, depression, migraines, moderate scoliosis, endometriosis, and chronic neck pain. I believe I've had several episodes in the last couple of years and what they all have in common were they were times when I was under extreme stress. Recently, we've began having our bathroom remodeled. The stress of the change and constant noise started to affect me. I woke up one morning with severe pain in the left side of my back, around to my ribs. It hurt so bad I went to the ER. X-ray was normal. Said must be muscle related. Two days later, same terrible pain, now with urinary symptoms. ER thought for sure kidney stone. Blood work, urinalysis and CT normal. Sent me home. I had mentioned this to my brother, that this pressure in my ribs was awful. I couldn't breathe. That's when he told me about the MS hug and i knew immediately that's what I was experiencing. He is encouraging me to get an MRI scan and it scares me. It's almost like I don't want to know. I'm feeling so broken down from the pain and fatigue and emotional stress, I don't know if I can handle it. I know the earlier it's diagnosed the better. I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement right now. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Hi, J Bel, we're glad that you're here and that you reached out. It is definitely scary facing the unknown. Please know that you are not alone. A few of our contributors have shared their experiences. You may identify with the sentiments shared in Whenever I Feel Afraid…, Dealing with MS Diagnosis, The Anxiety of an Upcoming Test.
We're always here to lend support and share information or just to listen. Understandably, sometimes you want someone to sit down with, over a cup of coffee. You can find someone in your area through the MS Society's One-on-One Peer Connection, or call to talk to someone at MS Friends Peer Support Line - 1-866-673-7436. Thanks for being here. -All Best, Donna (MultipleSclerosis.net team)
Donna, thank you so much for your kind words of support and encouragement! I read the articles you suggested and it really resonated with me. Especially the part about, it doesn't affect just you, but your family as well. My parents, my mom mostly, took it very hard when my brother was diagnosed. It came out of nowhere. We all grieved with him for years. It has gotten a lot better now. He has few relapses. We are stable again. As for me, my parents have no idea what I'm going through. I have to hide it from them, but it's hard. Just recently, I turned down a trip to the amusement park with them because I knew with my heat intolerance and stiff, sore legs, I just couldn't do it. They'll tell me I'm just out of shape and to walk more and they have no idea how hard every day has been. Now knowing how they reacted to my brother's diagnosis, how can I put them through that again? My mom somehow thinks it's her fault (which is ridiculous) but now two children with MS? I know I need to get help soon. I've put it off as long as I can. But God, I'm almost more worried for my family than myself. Well, now that I've written a book, lol. Feels good to get this out and I think support is huge for anyone facing this. So thanks again.
Hi J Bel, you're most welcome. No worries about your book 😉, it's written from the heart and we're always here to listen.
That is a very difficult place to be in, needing the support of your family, and not wanting to burden your mom's heart. I'm wondering if your parents have a support system? Support for Parents of Young Adults Living With MS speaks to people in the same unique position, concerned parents of independent children who are not caretakers. It may help them to have an outlet.
Until and even after you feel it's okay to share with your parents, we're here for you. - Warmly, Donna (MultipleSclerosis.net team)
Hi Donna, thanks for your reply. Unfortunately, my parents don't have a great support system. My dad is what I would consider a "normal" person. Worked all his life, now retired, always on the move. Nothing really gets to him. In great health, walks and lifts weights every day. My mom, however, has always had depression and anxiety. She doesn't work, hasn't for years, has very little social support, unless you include a few friends on Facebook. I've always felt like I was the one who raised her. But, I love her, she's my mom, but can be very difficult to deal with at times. To change the subject, she had a mammogram the other day and they found something of concern she needs to go back for an ultrasound for. This hasn't helped my stress level. Every day I am getting more stressed out and noticing more symptoms. I have to get up at least twice a night to pee, I can't sleep at all because of the pain, now tonight what really worries me is that I was watching TV and noticed the screen jumping up and down slightly. It started to make me nauseous. My fiance said the screen is fine. Thinking about going to my eye doctor because my regular doctor and I don't get along. We don't like each other and it's a long story, but I'm not expecting much out of her. She doesn't even believe I have chronic pain. Once again, I just had to get this out. This is a scary time I'm facing right now.
