I'll Be Alright
Greetings all. It has been quite a while since I’ve written. Earnestly, I made several attempts to write. I held the pen in my hand praying for the content in my heart to spill onto the pages. Still, the pages were blank. Every single one of them. To say that I am going through the most difficult season of my life thus far is an understatement.
Within 15 months both of my parents transitioned. The immense loss I feel is synonymous with a sinkhole. There is an overshadowing emptiness that refrains. It can never be refilled. As tragic as this may be, I am okay knowing that this loss is irreplaceable. It is evident of the great love shared between my parents and me. I have been taking the time to process my loss, my life, the lessons, and the great love that defines me.
The message that keeps me afloat
Verily, my strength and endurance have been tested. There are moments when I am overwhelmed and all I want is peace. There are days when just getting out of bed is a win. I have truly learned to bask in the small wins because they matter. As I reflect on my life, the phrase “be alright” has always resonated. As a young girl, I led a song in the choir titled “Everything Will Be Alright.” Throughout my life, my mother and father echoed those words. One of my best friends is a gospel recording artist and my favorite song by her is titled “Be Alright.” The stars that have aligned to guide me on this beautifully, difficult journey of life confirm this message.
Strength against the lows of MS
“You’ll be alright.” These words were spoken by my father three weeks prior to his departure from this earthly terrain. We were discussing my worsening multiple sclerosis symptoms, a new diagnosis I am wrestling with, and the daily pain that I endure. My father was my protector and life coach. He always had the magic of making the worse situations seem tolerable. He proceeded to remind me of the great plans and purpose God has for me and that I am strong enough to overcome any obstacle.
We are living through tumultuous times and loss is devastatingly ever-present. In addition to the loss of loved ones, we struggle with the loss of abilities, agency, and freedoms. This ultimately takes a toll on our physical and mental health. Loss has catapulted me into the belly of despair, yet my spirit affirms that I will be alright. I resolve if not in this moment, at some point in time. With the faith of a mustard seed, hope is grasped with all my might. For I know that where there is hope, there is life and through it all, I value the one I have.
The power of love
If I can encourage anyone, please hold onto hope. It is a lifeboat in the middle of the stormy sea. I know there are many difficult days ahead and I dare not profess to have all the answers. What I can avow is when I felt like surrendering, I thought about my divine purpose. Also in my mind were the lifelong words of my parents, the legacy of the love they left behind, and the bright, sunny day my father told me that I will be alright, even as darkness engulfed me.
Please take care of yourself and take the time you need. From the depths of my heart, I believe that you and I will be alright. For all who need them, I’m sending positive thoughts your way and I hope you’ll send some back to me. You are not alone. Thank you for listening.
I have the hardest time with my MS during the following season: