His Side of The Story: An Interview with My Husband
I wrote an article a while back about the importance of finding that special someone. I talked about how despite my illness and some beasts along the way I was able to find my “prince charming” and live a life where I feel loved, supported, and understood daily despite my illness. Mind you, my marriage hasn’t always been rainbows and butterflies, but it has been wonderful, and I’m thankful daily for the life partner I have by my side! I decided to interview my husband, and get his side of the story, and below I have posted that interview for my readers. I wrote these questions down and had him write down his answers, so I didn’t get to read these answers until just a little before I shared them with you! I was blown away by the thought he put into them. My husband, William, isn’t the most emotional person per say, but I could tell from his answers he really spoke from the heart. I hope this interview can help those feeling defeated by bad relationships, and give you hope for a future with someone who can withstand all that MS throws. I know I picked a lot of bad apples before I found William, and as I said, our relationship has had its fair share of ups and downs, but he is in this with me through it all, good times and bad. We all deserve a fighting chance, despite the cards we have been dealt, and my sweet husband gives me more chances than I deserve!
Q: Did knowing I had MS affect your feelings for me in any way?
A: “Affect my feelings for you, no. It made me nervous not knowing anything about MS. You love someone for who they are and not what they can’t control. Duh, silly.”
Q: What are your feelings about dealing with someone who has MS on a daily basis?
A: “When you love someone you’re not dealing with anything. It’s called unconditional love. On the good days I love you to the moon and back. On the bad days I’ve had to learn to love you to the moon and back twice and find ways to turn the bad into good. At first I had trouble with that, but as time goes on I believe I’m getting better.”
"I worry a lot"
Q: Does anything scare you about the fact that your spouse has MS?
Q: What do you think the most important aspect of living with someone with MS is (communication, routine, etc.)?
Q: What’s the most difficult part about living with someone with MS thus far?
A: “Nothing is difficult now. At first dealing with all of the exciting/not so exciting emotions…But I believe we have grown past that as a couple.”
"Find ways to make the bad days better"
Q: What would you tell someone dating someone with MS or married to someone with MS? What’s your biggest piece of advice?
A: “Love and enjoy the good days and find ways to make the bad days better. Love them with all you have and help in every way possible. Happy spouse, happy life. Tired angry spouse is what can make some days bad, haha.”
"Learn from the past"
Q: Do you feel MS has affected our marriage? And if so, in what way?
A: “At first yes. When you were heavily medicated your mood changes would cause us both to be at each other’s throats. This would cause silly arguments that didn’t get either of us anywhere. But, we have both grown past that. I believe all of those silly arguments and bad days have helped make our relationship stronger. You have to learn from the past to grow into a great life and grow together as a family.”
Q: What did you know about MS before we started dating, and what’s the biggest thing you have learned over the years?
A: “I knew absolutely nothing about MS. Fatigue and the effects of heat can play a major role in someone’s life with MS. I’ve learned a lot as a person, and how to love and understand a person and the feelings and emotions with come when dealing with MS.”
"A roller coaster"
Q: What are your thoughts and opinions about MS now that you’ve lived with someone with it? Would you change anything?
A: “Loving someone with MS is a lot like a roller coaster. It’s fun and exciting with ups and downs…like any other relationship. But a relationship where MS is involved helps you become a better person and teaches you to love a little more even when you think you can’t love anymore. Would I change anything? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I’ve learned so much from you and have grown more as a person than I ever would have without you. You’re our son and I’s world. I wouldn’t want it any other way! Growing old with you will be the best life, and all I could have ever wanted.”
I want to thank my husband for taking the time to answer these questions for me and providing such sincere answers, I have to admit it ya'll, I'm pretty darn blessed! I wish all of my readers and followers may find a love like this, someone strong enough to put up with us and all that our disease comes with. Of course, our love isn't perfect, but its more than I could have ever hoped for.
How many specialists did you see before finding "The One"?