A Sudden Anomaly: MS, Me, A Stroke And Mommy

Changes in life are inevitable. They can occur in as little as a second, a minute, or one or more day(s), night(s), month(s) or year(s). Some are foreseen while others are not, some sudden while others gradual. And, of course, some can be good and others not so much, such as when my mother suddenly suffered a stroke. Over the course of one night, her lifestyle was drastically altered. As an ‘MS'er,’ I am empathetic and reflective towards her plight.

A dramatic change

One day, my mother walked out of her home and rode shotgun with my father in their SUV to the hospital. She walked in completely able-bodied and had surgery, a (successful) knee replacement. The next morning, she woke up to a stroke she'd endured in the wee hours of the morning. She couldn't walk, use her right side, or talk.

Twenty-seven days later, she returned home non-able-bodied. She was taken in the house on a stretcher and transferred to her awaiting lift recliner. As of my writing this, her speech was getting better, but she still could not walk nor use her right arm and hand. She also became sedentary, dependent on others for transferring, meal preparation, and more. She required assistive devices and services such as a bedside commode, wheelchair, and health aides, as well as in-home physical, occupational and speech therapy.

She grieves her loss of independence and old normal, yet tries to maintain her dignity in this ‘new’ space. There are thoughts she has never had to have before. A way she's not had to live before. Talk about change. And I get it. Boy, do I get it, particularly as someone with MS.

Depending on others

My mother woke up one morning to life so much like the one I live, with limitations due to multiple sclerosis (MS). I have (full-body) weakness, am sedentary, and have limited use of my (curled) hands. I, too, am dependent on others for transferring, meal preparation and serving, housekeeping, household management, bathing assistance, grooming, and dressing. I, too, require assistive devices and services such as a bedside commode, wheelchair, skilled care assistance, and home health aides.

Additionally, I receive in-home physical and occupational therapy. I've tried, at times, to refrain from drinking because the transfer to the commode is a chore, and I don't like asking for help sometimes. I also long for the independence I once had and fight to maintain my dignity in my space of total dependence. Thoughts I never had to deal with before the changes MS progression brought to my life over the years.

Life can change quickly

As of my writing this, my mother is working hard toward her likely full recovery. I am working hard toward slowing my disease's progression. And we are both working hard to overcome and not succumb to our similar situations caused by different diagnoses.

The anomaly, from a reflective standpoint, is that my mother was one of my largest sources of support and caregiving one day. The next, out of the blue, a stroke requires Mommy to have the same support and care that I have needed for years.  What a difference a day, or years, can make.

Editor’s Note: We are extremely saddened to say that on December 2nd, 2024, Dianne Scott passed away. Dianne’s advocacy efforts and writing continue to reach many. She will be deeply missed.