MS and the Terrible 2's
Being a mom is the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I love being a mom more than I can put into words! Yet, being a parent in general is no easy task. Then you throw a daunting medical condition in the mix, and that’s another thing all on its own! I worked with preschoolers for 4 years, anywhere from newborn to 5 years old, so coming into parenthood I thought I was pretty well prepared. Boy was I wrong! Becoming a mom, or parent in general, teaches you more things than you ever thought possible. It overwhelms you, it scares the fire out of you, but mostly it gives you the most intense love for another human being. That love is what gets you through all of the, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing days. That love keeps you going when you don’t think you can sing one more lullaby or change one more dirty diaper.
Being a mom with MS
My son turned 2 in August, and just recently he hit the 2 year sleep regression. He has been a really good sleeper from 6 months and on, so this has been a really difficult change on all of us. He’s hit the stage in life where he’s realized he has the ability to say no, and he’s realized he can think for himself and explore his feelings. He’s always been very independent, so now that he can test the limits he’s doing it in every way possible. Anyhow, the whole not napping and getting up countless times throughout the night is really stinking tough! I’m exhausted, beat, drained, the list goes on. The thing about being a mom with MS is this-you can’t just stop being a mom, and you can’t just stop having MS. It’s a double edged sword no matter how you look at it.
The exhaustion of sick, sleepless nights
The hardest part of being a mom for me has been the exhaustion. The exhaustion of having a newborn, the exhaustion of sick, sleepless nights, and the exhaustion from sleep regressions. I know all moms are exhausted, I really do, but being a mom with MS exhaustion puts it on a whole other level. I would explain it as being brand new mom tired on steroids. Some days it’s all I can do to roll out of bed and take care of him, yet I have to remember to take care of myself too. The funny thing about my journey with motherhood and MS is this though, even on my worst days…the days where I’m so tired and weary and every inch of my body aches…I wouldn’t change being a mom for anything else in the world. I truly wouldn’t
Embracing the good days
When I dreamed of being a mom at a younger age, of course MS wasn’t a part of that dream. But, it is the reality. In ways it makes parenting harder. It makes me worry more, and I stress often about being the best mom I can be to my son. It makes it sweeter in other ways too though. It makes it sweeter in the way I don’t feel I take my good days with my son for granted. I embrace all of the good days, and I have learned over the past two years with my boy to roll with the bad days as they come. One thing is certain though, even on the good days and the bad, the love and joy being a mom to my son brings me pushes me to keep going.
"It's amazing how my greatest source of chaos can also be my greatest source of peace."
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