Doors Opening

My MS journey, and I witness and see for many, is a narrative about doors closing.

Having to leave my job because I wasn't able to cope, readjusting how to be a man in a relationship, stopping cycling because the wobbles became too much, and stopping aerobic exercise because it wasn't "good for my MS."

I was surrounded by stress

Around 15 years ago, after a hard year on the stress levels, losing my Mum to her battle with Parkinson's disease, starting a new job where I was beginning to feel less than confident and without the protection of a large organization, starting to run (competing with my fiancee). And I was planning to get married!

It was a stressful time, and my optic neuritis came up to bite after 12 years. This really scared me as I didn't have the protection of cover from my organization. I felt extremely vulnerable as I had a new life planned with my pending marriage, we had a young child, and I felt the responsibilities of being the breadwinner.

Negative self-beliefs that I was prepared to change

I put the relapse predominantly down to aerobic experience and stress. I had mostly avoided aerobics since being diagnosed in ‘94. My tagline was, “oh, I don't do aerobic exercise as it exacerbates my MS.” This became a negative self-belief that I had formed about myself.

In 2022 I challenged this and took on the challenge of running the Coach to 5k program. This meant a 3 times a week task of walking and then short spats of running over 9 weeks.

I was so scared and it felt wrong. I was living in the fear of pushing my MS and after 28 years of having the disease it didn’t seem like something I should be doing.

But I managed it, I took it easy and I kept monitoring my symptoms, it felt like a big achievement.

I learned I can push myself to do the hard things

We all have those moments when we can grow rather than retract, be it pushing ourselves to write that story, to get back on a bike that we had mothballed, to have that conversation about our worries about the future, to walk for 5 paces, to apply for that job, to go to a place you had told yourself was to much bother, to take on the challenge of a chair exercise program.

Celebrate your individual greatness. You're amazing you do all you do with MS!

Look for the door you can open.