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General Discussion

Spotlight: Relationships

  • By Kelly McNamara Keymaster

    Managing relationships can be tough enough. Adding in MS just adds another dynamic. Do you have any tips on managing MS and relationships? Share here!

  • By BlessedEvenWithMS

    It’s OK to share how you’re feeling or what hurts but don’t dwell on it. No one wants to hear the negative all the time. Try to focus on what’s right today or at that moment. It may not always feel like it, but the glass is always half full. Sometimes we just have to switch our focus. Do what you can do today because we all know MS can change things tomorrow. Find the joy… It’s always there but may be harder to see some days. People want to be with happy people… we’re all attracted to happiness and joy. Keep on smiling 😀

  • By Carol

    Unfortunately, I don’t have any relationship tips. But, I do know that MS affects our sex lives, I don’t know why they are reluctant to have and enjoy sex with a MS person, even if it is their spouse!

  • By Rizzy18

    Make sure to get as much knowledge of the disease you can. I personally went on with my everyday like I didn’t have MS. I didn’t do the research I should have when diagnosed 13 years ago. It’s hard on you. And the mood swings that come with it can be very unbearable to loved ones. Personally I sank into deep depression and sunk myself into my job. There are some good days. But with all this I started heavy drinking and living very destructive patterns I couldn’t explain. It took a toll on my family. I’ve had a very rude awakening. And am now 2 weeks sober, and learning about the disease and myself again through therapy. Knowledge is key to this disease I’ve learned. Make sure everyone your associates with and close too understand as much as the can. Just learn and live the best the disease will allow. I’m in pain everyday. But for the first time in a long time I can eventually see me beginning to smile. Good luck and educate yourself.

  • By amy5677

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago and it’s been difficult in my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and I am so moody, depressed, and if it wasn’t for him wanting sex, I wouldn’t do it. Every time I see my husband look at another woman, it feels like a piece of my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I recently checked our phone records to see who he talks to and he says I nag about where he is and what he’s doing. He works offshore so I only see him 1 week out of the month but I also work a full time job. I dont know what’s going on in my head. I also forget things so simple it scares me lately. Some days I just feel like he’s being cheated out of a better life and that I should just tell him to go so he doesn’t have to deal with me or MS.

  • By Carol

    I feel so helpless and can’t do a lot of things. I know my husband misses our going out bowling, walking, dancing, and enough sex. Well, actually I’m the one that wants more sex, but he’s probably afraid he will hurt me. I know that he doesn’t have a lot of joy and probably wishes his life was not like this or with me.

  • By Lamm

    My tip would be, make sure everyone understands that you always feel “not right” every day & things like pain & numbness or not thinking straight etc is an EVERY DAY EVENT, And it changes every day and as hard as we try we can’t make it be the way all of us would like it to be. They will either come to a understanding of what we go through or they won’t. Hopefully they will learn to accept our crazy symptoms and have a better understanding of why we sometimes feel better on some days than others & that it is just another thing this disease does to you.

    • By Donna Steigleder Moderator

      @lamm Sounds like you’re saying that consistent inconsistency is your normal everyday life. I believe many others would second that description. Thanks for sharing that insight. Donna Steigleder, Moderator

  • By mwrightorlando

    Hi Kelly,

    Some effective keys to manage MS and relationships:

    Education of your mate so they understand all the complexities that you face, as well as how these symptoms can fluctuate from day to day



    Give and take



    Finding a caring individual that loves you, sees you for you – not your MS

    A mate that helps to take your focus off of the disease and improve your quality of life with lots of laughter, love, adventure, romance, surprises

    If all else fails, date someone else who has MS. Make sure they have the ability to have care and support around for both of you – if needed at the same time, can provide you with love, emotional support, understanding, adventure, joy, laughter, security for your future.

    In general, like in any relationship be each others biggest champion and most importantly – make plans for your future together. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

    All the best in your quest to achieve that balance and be in a happy, healthy relationship…