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The MS Brain

  • By cheyennejourney

    ‘Colossal Meltdown”

    So yesterday was hard. No point in explaining all the details, but suffice it to say, it was enough to drive me over the edge to a colossal meltdown of a proportion not seen since I was probably 2 or 3 years old. I was covering my ears and yelling stop… Unfortunately I realized later it was my own brain I was trying to stop. When Multiple Sclerosis affects your brain it does so in a very insidious way. It affects the actual brain structure, it affects the processing of information, it affects the tolerance level that your emotions can tolerate. Quite frankly MS is a son of a bitch!!!

    What I realize now, looking back at yesterday, is that I’m going to have to find a way to come to terms with the “monster inside me”. Honestly, I’m not sure if that monster is the MS or that monster is a 2 or 3 year old child locked inside this 47 year old body.

    Either way, since I can’t do a damn thing about having MS, my only choices are to let it eat me up or to fight back against the monster.

    I don’t have all (or maybe any) of the answers right this minute, but as long as I’m still asking the questions, I assume I’ve still got a chance to make things better.

  • By Devin Garlit Moderator

    Thank you @cheyennejourney, as a moderator, I’m not sure I’m supposed to say this, but I agree, MS is a real son of a bitch! I know exactly how you feel, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think I have more meltdowns now then I did when I was 2-3 years old. It’s OK to have the occasional meltdown, as long as you pick yourself up and keep moving. I see MS as something I have to adapt to, it may (and has) change me, but that’s OK, as long as I adapt. Asking questions and keeping an open mind will help you keep living a good life. It sounds like you have a great attitude, thanks for sharing your thoughts!