So yesterday was hard. No point in explaining all the details, but suffice it to say, it was enough to drive me over the edge to a colossal meltdown of a proportion not seen since I was probably 2 or 3 years old. I was covering my ears and yelling stop… Unfortunately I realized later it was my own brain I was trying to stop. When Multiple Sclerosis affects your brain it does so in a very insidious way. It affects the actual brain structure, it affects the processing of information, it affects the tolerance level that your emotions can tolerate. Quite frankly MS is a son of a bitch!!!
What I realize now, looking back at yesterday, is that I’m going to have to find a way to come to terms with the “monster inside me”. Honestly, I’m not sure if that monster is the MS or that monster is a 2 or 3 year old child locked inside this 47 year old body.
Either way, since I can’t do a damn thing about having MS, my only choices are to let it eat me up or to fight back against the monster.
I don’t have all (or maybe any) of the answers right this minute, but as long as I’m still asking the questions, I assume I’ve still got a chance to make things better.