lease forgive my yawp - I'm scared and have no one to chat with who understands what I'm going through.
I'm male and in my late 50s. I've been complaining to my GP about cognitive impairment for the last few years, along with some urinary issues (urgency, lack of flow), balance issues, and heart issues. I was referred to a urologist (prostate fine, PSA fine) who suggested Flomax. The cardiologist I attended found a bad valve that needed repair. My heart surgery was scheduled for early this year - a valve repair and cardiac ablation - both were successful. Prior to that my GP suggested I have a brain MRI - she was concerned there may have been vascular damage related to the heart issues.
Suffice to say, when the MRI came back, my brain was full of lesions. MS was diagnosed and a subsequent visit with a neuro suggested PPMS, although I'm still waiting for a follow up brain and spine MRI to confirm the PP part.
What's freaking me out is this: my cognitive decline is becoming more apparent and is seemingly accelerating. I can live with the bonking off walls, the incontinence, the chronic fatigue, and the muscle pain. What I can't live with is my mind slipping away. My job requires a significant amount of mental acuity, but more importantly, my intellect is a significant part of my identity, and I sense it slipping away. I would previously read 3 books a week, now I can barely finish one in a month. I can't complete Sudoku puzzles any more. Mental tasks that were once trivial are now momentous. My sense of humor has left me and I find it difficult to follow conversations.
I remain positive, hoping that the noted exacerbation of symptoms is simply a function of recovering from heart surgery. That said, I'm 7 weeks post op and I feel less sharp than I did two weeks post op. The thought that PPMS is a one way march into decline makes me fear that my cognition won't bounce back.
Please forgive the gloomy post. As I indicated, I don't have anyone else I can share this with that understands my fear. I would be very grateful if someone with PPMS can share some encouraging words.