MS stress overload
I'm married have 3 wonderful sons, wife and I are in our mid 50's and I have M.S. I was diagnosed around 2005 and have fought it as well as I can. My mother just recently passed and was bedridden with M.S. for 30 years.
I am self employed and my wife is an elementary school teacher (Thank God for her Insurance) My oldest son works with me and is able to help run the business when M.S. rears it's head.
This is where I need some help.
We live in a rural area and have livestock, my cows are my stress relievers! My wife and I have been by ourselves (kids gone) now for around 7 years so we have gotten used to things being quiet and when I am stressed from work I can go to our peaceful home.
My oldest son has bought property near us and has plans on building his home there. He put his house up for sale and sold it the same weekend! Before he did he had asked if he and his wife and 2 kids could stay with us during the construction of his home.
I said that at this stage with my M.S. that I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of it. He talked to his mother and she said no problem they could move in!
My wife and I had several late night discussions over it and I told her my concerns and I said no, I can't deal with it.
I get home to my house to see a uhaul truck and he and a friend moving their furniture upstairs. I protested and my wife said it'll help them save money and will all be ok.
The kids, the commotion, noise, is driving me nuts. M.S. has went into overdrive but I am the bad guy for not wanting to help my son is what I hear and it has nothing to do with that. But it is how I'm portrayed.
What a difficult and frustrating situation, @Larryclemons. It can so disheartening to be unheard. Have you and your wife talked about how each of your felt in this situation and why she gave your son permission to move his family in without mutual consent? Does she have reasons that she might not have shared with you? Doe she truly understand the impact of stress on your symptoms? At this point, it might not be worth the damage to family relationships to ask them to leave. Could you come up with a contract of sorts, a list of house rules that will help you relax when you are home from work? Have you ever considered meditation? Meditation can't change you situation, but it can change the way your body reacts to it. Here is an article about the impact of stress on MS that you might want to share with your family before you sit down for a discussion: https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/the-realities-of-stress-and-ms. I hope some of this helps and that you are able to make peace with the situation. Please know we are here for you whenever you need support or a place to vent. Thinking of you! - Lori (Team Member)
Thank you so very much for your advice! we had a long discussion about it this morning and her response is I know now it was a bad decision, But its' my house too and I wanted them here, I thought it would be fun. I should just learn to handle stress better, we all have stress. I am so glad you two were able to have an honest discussion, LarryClemons! We do all have stress, but stress doesn't affect everyone like it does you. It is good to remember though that you can't always control your environment, but you can control the way you react to it in ways that are healthier for you and will help you avoid worsening symptoms. I hope the stay is short and as stress-free as possible! Have they already contracted with a builder? - Lori (Team Member)
