Disability stigma impacts self-esteem
Have you had to deal with judgment due to disability or for receiving disability benefits? Living with MS is hard enough without the added guilt and self-doubt. It never fails to amaze me what people say to me or how they act. I went on a tear and wrote an article about it (link in bio) These are the sorts of comments I get: “I wish I could stay home all day.”
“I wish I could do nothing all day.”
“What do you do all day?”
“Why are you so busy? You don’t work.”
“Why are you tired, you don’t work.”
“What do you mean you don’t have time? “You don’t work.”
“I’m sure you could work if you wanted to.”
“It must be nice not having to work.”
Who can relate? What is your experience and how do you handle it?
I think that experience is common to anyone with an 'invisible' disease. I have a friend with Crohn's, she works in the same building I do, and we catch up with each other on occasion. The comment she gets all the time is "I wish I had Crohn's, look how skinny you are!"
She used to reply "Oh yeah, it's a non-stop party shitting yourself in public." But now she just says "It has its ups and downs."
We decided our conditions make people uncomfortable which, in turn, causes those people to say stupid things. Typically those inappropriate comments are the uninitiated's way of saying that they acknowledge the elephant in the room, and they're cool with it. The fact that it makes them look like idiots is beside the point.
Forgive the muggles; they know not what they do.Wow, people probably thought they were complimenting your friend. What a great line she had. I agree, people don't understand and are uncomfortable. I suppose it's better to get a dumb comment than to be ignored.
I wish you didn't have to deal with that kind of negativity and ignorance. I am always amazed when people say those on disability are "living off the government." How do you live off the government on disability? If people could actually live on that monthly paycheck alone, my husband and I would be royalty in our own castle on our salaries. Those muggles. Thanks for starting this forum. I think you'll find you are far from alone. Best wishes. - Lori (Team Member) Thanks Lori! Thankfully, this doesn't happen as often anymore but often enough that is bristling. I know, living off the government cracks me up- NO! We paid for our benefits thank you. I'm always dying to yell that out, but I don't. I just smile and usually walk away.
Hello on another note I have a handicap parking tag. I’ve had MS for 40 years and I’m doing pretty good. My gait is off, with a slight drag in my right foot. The only time I parked there is when I’m super super tired and there’s no parking spaces. It is rare.You should see how people look at me.It actually makes me feel so wrong!! 😉) Carmella I don't have a handicap parking tag but I do park in the Pregnancy parking in really high temperatures if I'm not feeling well. It's courtesy parking anyway so I figure, I can use it if I have to. I do get nasty looks but I've gotten over caring.
