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Sexual dysfunction

Share your experience with sexual dysfuncion. Get the conversation started.

  1. So, I can't seem to be able to reach orgasm anymore. I've done some research and discovered that this could be MS related or it could be a result of the antidepressant I'm on, which also makes it MS related. Can anyone relate or offer a solution to this problem?

    1. Theresa, I can relate. My libido disappeared along with the onset of MS when I was 41. After many years it returned. But orgasm is more difficult to attain now. I've stopping trying to figure out what has caused the change, including blaming MS and depression/anxiety. What has helped me get my mojo back again is maintaining a sexual fantasy life and having regular sex, with and without a partner (I'm single). I also went through perimenopause and then menopause at the same time my libido returned and my orgasms returned and reached nearly the same intensity as when I was young. I think that was not a coincidence, the hormonal shift. We hear that menopause causes a loss of libido, but that isn't true of everyone. It was the opposite for me.

      Another thing I've learned: It also helps to not get focused on the orgasm, just enjoy the arousal. The upside of not climaxing is that you can make sex last longer.

      I don't know if this is any help to you, Theresa. Things can change, I guess that is what I want you to know.I remember feeling aggrieved at the loss of attaining a climax; our sexual selves our part of our identity. So perhaps you are feeling a kind of identity crisis along with this? I know I did. Embrace what you can enjoy. It is possible that climax will happen again one day. All my best to you.

      Kim, moderator

      1. I haven't had an orgasm in years. I keep on having sex with my husband but I just am not really that in to it any more. He can tell but I haven't told him that I can't feel much and I fake my orgasms. For one thing, I have 2 young children - one is in school but the other is home with me so when my husband is home during the day, sex is pretty much impossible before the kids are in bed. After that, I'm tired. Fatigue kills your mojo. And when I'm tired, I get really cold so the last thing I want to do is take my clothes off. Add to that my balance issues, I have to take it slowly when I get undressed or I risk falling. None of that is sexy so I undress in our closet with the door closed so my husband can't see me tottering to and fro trying to get my pants off. I'm pretty good at faking orgasms so it keeps my husband happy. I have to say "no" to morning sex though, I can barely move in the mornings and my legs have often completely lost feeling in the night. It's pretty hard on a relationship and I have no idea what to do about it. MS is a real romance killer. But honestly, I don't need an orgasm to enjoy sex with my husband. And it's good exercise anyway - regardless of whether I feel much.

        1. As a married man that suffers with MS , I feel your pain. Although my sexual difficulties are more related to my physical disabilities, I’ve found that talking with my wife about what works and what doesn’t helps more than anything. Trust me when I say that if you are faking it your partner knows. If you are not in to it and enjoying it, your partner isn’t either. Once I swallowed my pride and talked to my wife, the sex got demonstratively better. I still have problems but now that I’ve opened up our sex life is much better even though sometimes nothing works and all we can do is laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, at least we are laughing together. Laughing together surely beats crying or being depressed alone. I don’t know if this helps but I wish you the best and praying until a cure is found.

      2. Wow. I like the honesty in this forum. I am 42 years old, and have no interests in romance, or anything else. For one, I had an ovary removed, and then a procedure for an embedded IUD which sent me into a 6-8 week menopausal faux episode. I mean, I was burning up every night after the operation, drenched in sweat any time of the day. I was so sad, I thought menopause had started, however it went away. Anyway, it took any little bit of libido I had left. LOL!!! I hope I get it back as you suggested Kim. Otherwise life is pretty annoying and frustrating at this point.

        Glad there is a place that is not scared to talk about what is really going on in an everyday struggle with MS.

        Thanks to you both.

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